simply hire a crew of hacks to revise and edit every stupid thing you say after the fact, and then post transcripts of the new, smarter-sounding you online. If this is too much, just start referring to your car as "Air Force One" - this also works.

The first two Bourne's have for me quietly slipped into the category of "movies I can not help but watch over and over every time they are on, even when they are on USA or TNT, commercials and all". In the first installment of Bourne, there is a moment where our hero, having just disposed of the Paris-based Treadstone operative, offers the (in way over her head) Marie a "get out now while you still can" offer - immediatley informing us that at least one of the things he has retained in his unfortunate amnesiatic state is a true good guy sense for the well being of others who aren't trying to kill him (Marie responds to his offer by strapping on her seatbelt for an ensuing Ronin-like Paris car chase, in a sense boldly proclaiming, "I'm with you Jason!" ME TOO!!). This quality, which Damon effortlessly convinces us is a genuine Bourne characteristic leaves me feeling warm and fuzzy all over and makes the brutal ass kicking that ensues in Identity and Supremacy completely satisfying (read: everyone this guy lays the smack down on totally deserves it). This character element, coupled with the gritty directing of Limon and the Bloody Sunday guy makes me want to curl up and watch our boy outsmart the dipshit bad guys over and over (and over)... something I just can't say for so many silly and cartoonish Bond flicks and other failed attempts at this genre I won't bother mentioning.

Anyway, I totally love the Bourne movies, and can't wait to watch this latest installment. A good review from Salon is just icing on the cake. Full disclosure: I also can't turn off "The Devil Wears Prada" and the Lindsay Lohan update of "The Parent Trap" when they come on, so while I am tempted to explain why that is, I won't, and feel free to ignore this completely.