Letters to the Editor

Letters posted here are associated with the following Salon Premium Member:

ondelette

Published Letters: 1973     Editor's Choice: 19

  • Susan, its complicated, not simple

    [Read the article: Prostitution or a "humanitarian" solution?]
    [Read more letters about this article: Here]

    Susan,

    First off, probably read the WaPo article. The Salon synopsis leaves out some crucial things, like that Um Akram the "women's rights activist" is Sunni, and Sunnis regard the practice as prostitution, another in a long list of hated Shiite practices they haven't liked for 1400 years.

    Second off, read about the actual muta'a marriage chronicled in the article. The woman, Fatima Ali, who in this case was divorced, not widowed, did indeed enter into it for money, but also because not being either married or virgin, she had few chances at marriage.

    "But money wasn't her only reason for entering the enjoyment marriage. "I have needs just like any other woman," she said."

    I'm not surprised. Casual relationships, even just casual dating, don't really exist everywhere in the world, much less casual sex, which in some places can get you killed.

    The man Rubae's permanent wife was originally a muta'a marriage as well, and suggested the muta'a with Ali, and the muta'a marriage actually enhances Fatima Ali's social standing, she temporarily becomes a married woman with a respectable husband.

    And then there was what I was trying to point out, that views of marriage, temporary relationships, divorce, and especially widowhood are very, very different elsewhere in the world.

    I'm not condoning the practice, and I have no doubt the system was set up by men. I have no doubt that it gets abused, although I would highly doubt that promiscuity has no consequences to men in Iraqi villages. But dismissing it as only a way for men to get as much sex as they please while giving nothing is not accurate, and you would indeed find a lot more of similar practices in war zones where there are a high number of widows than elsewhere. Especially in cultures where widows' status is low. The WaPo article did mention that that is why the practice is coming back.

  • Elephantman missed the point

    [Read the article: Yes, women can have balls!]
    [Read more letters about this article: Here]

    The point of the story was that people like Bush shouldn't send people off to war for no reason. Bush is sending people off to fight for their zillionth time in a pre-emptive war based on incompetence and lies. His coming around then asking how they are doing adds insult to injury.

  • This guy Perle is a permanent distraction

    [Read the article: Perle, Ricks face off]
    [Read more letters about this article: Here]

    On Monday, Carlotta Gall blew the cover off the ISI support for the Taliban and Al Qaeda in Pakistan.

    Not only did Perle and his buddies distract us, perhaps fatally, by forcing us to re-focus on Iraq and abandon Afghanistan, he is now forcing us to argue with him over Iraq and Iran when the biggest problem facing the U.S. is elsewhere.

    We are supporting the people who support the Taliban and Al Qaeda to kill our troops. Great! How much? Pakistan is the number 3 recipient of U.S. foreign aid after Israel and Egypt. And instead of focusing on this lunacy, we're worrying about a has been Defense jock who can't face up to the fact that he called for a war that's been a disaster.

  • Sorry to disappoint, Kevin

    [Read the article: Killing and selling women as "ghost brides"]
    [Read more letters about this article: Here]

    Ghost marriage in China takes multiple forms. The practice I saw in Taiwan involved marrying a live man to a deceased unmarried woman. While the variation of marrying a deceased man to deceased woman is a new one on me, and looking for such a woman is even newer, I can at least explain what was originally behind the standard version I mentioned:

    In China traditionally, when a woman marries, she leaves the family she was born into, and becomes a member of the family of her husband. This is an important point, because it is the husband's family that will maintain her spirit on the family altar, that is, look after her after she is dead. This cannot be done by her birth family, she is no one's ancestor there, and it would be close to admitting the end of a lineage line. That is the worst of all possible fates, because Confucius labelled having one's lineage die out as a punishment, so that would punish the family's ancestors. The Confucian lineage thing is why the Chinese take having a son as important to an extreme.

    So if a woman died before she was married, her family would put money in a red envelope and put it by the side of the road, and wait in the bushes. When an unmarried man came along and saw the envelope, they would jump out and beseech him to marry the dead daughter and accept the red envelope as dowry. The ceremony would be held, and the woman's things, and picture would go on the man's family shrine. He would be free to marry or not afterwards. The woman would be worshipped and her spirit would be fed on holidays, and someone would burn paper money for her, etc.

    So a gay ghost marriage wouldn't really do anything to solve the problem.