Yeah, what Melanie Kern said.

Basically you used this guy to satisfy your need for companionship. You didn't want to be alone. He was there and willing to improve himself, move at your demand and his expense all to be with you. Every time you demanded somethign new, oddly something you wouldn't have cut the rope on because you feared loneliness (it practically bleed with self pity through your letter) he did it. Guys can be like that. Whether its fixing a carburator or finding the right women we tend to get obsessive.

What is interesting to note is that 1) you rationalize and minimize your role here. You didn't do anything because you got involved so early in youth with him, you were young and virginal and not responsible. Yet you say you've been together five years and are well out of college. Maybe you are Amish but most of us who had our first relationship that lasted five years were just applying to college.

You then say how it was all his fault for actually caring about his career, despite the fact he willingly forced his career to comport with the demands you kept setting on him, including his choice of college and where he would live.

But still, it was all his fault and you had to move to another country then spend a considerable amount of time satisfying your neediness with an assortment of men, while he loyally stayed home and carried a torch for you, instead of doing what alot of men would have done, dated someone from his lab class.

Now you are on the final step of rinsing the last traces of guilt off your soul like so much Breck in your probably dyed hair. It's his fault for being such a jealous needy wimp that you have to now leave him. You didn't write looking for an answer. You wrote looking for permission and absolution.

Cary wasn't straightforward enough. Perhaps it is because you are just boyfriend girlfriend instead of married, let alone actual lovers. This relationship is dead. It has been dead and there is some serious question as to whether it ever was a relationship rather than just a mutual needfest of the sexually and socially insecure. The fact you seemed to toss in the female "love" object for no apparant purpose in the literally gnashing wail suggests to me that both of you would be better off getting over expectations and find your true love among your own sex. Honest to Goddess, this reads like two people who haven't a clue about what a heterosexual relationship is like and are just here for the dance.

Of course the real killer is this. You haven't even hinted at marriage, let alone children or mutually supportive careers. You talk of each of you spending months or years at a time away from eachother and you think nothing of "vacationing" with other single men, while significantly failing to mention how you would feel if he told you he was going to spend the next season traveling Asia with your buxom single best girlfriend. Actually you would be surprised he showed such independence after years of napping at your feet and waiting to be let out to pee.

Like Melanie said, do this guy a favor. You both need to grow up and you could start with some serious therapy over how important it really is to you to have a relationship versus just not feeling alone anymore.

Just like Iran contra. Boy that sure woke us up to the excesses of power. Eh? We are drunk on fascism and imperialism. Libby will at best be excused away as an overzealous underling, at worst a martyr of the evil liberals who seek to force abortions on our children and turn our military into an effeminete force, which can only be responded to by giving more billions to the military.

Like it or not, a majority of this country wants us to be Rome, an empire. They will impovershish themselves just to go into debt to watch Future Weapons. Their sole reason for being rests on watching someone in an American uniform using a new weapon to kill an infidel.

Nazi Germany had the most advanced weapons, it had the most dedicated soldiers and it had a government hell bent on the supremacy of Germany. It overextended itself and died at the hands not of US demacracy, not at the words of Jefferson, but at the simple fact that a horribly repressive Stalinist government could drive it out of Russia and it's war in the West was ill prepared.

One day, all too soon we will get our ass kicked in the Middle East, and, like us, the so called winners will chalk it up to the superiority of Islam. Just like they did against the Soviet Union. It will be wrong, but with us driven out with out tale between our legs are we in any position to argue otherwise? Vietnam is now a capitalist economy but you don't hear David Horowitz extolling the virtues of our victory, if you get my drift.