Letters to the Editor
Dawggone
Published Letters: 451 Editor's Choice: 69
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How Kaavya got her contract back
[Read the article: How Opal Mehta saved our lives]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Yeah, that's all fine and groovy, but what is the lesson really learned.
Oh yeah, how to become famous and blame it on people exploiting me, while my so-called race friends rejoice that I died to save their sins or someting like that. Actually, I was thinking of doing a book about that, but I can't figure out how to end it after I've died on this cross. But then I got this great idea of rising from the dead to pen my autobiography. Original, no?
There is another possibility where I adopt some exotic name. Maybe like Kaavya Viswanathan. Yeah, that's it, I'll pretend I'm a 19 year old Indian Harvard student writing how I "Got my Groove Back with Stella and Got Hot and Laid and bought a Streetcar and named it Desire and yelled "Stella!" because she took my Groove and then I went on a Mission Impossible the III time, discovered Scientology only to have non-yelling child birth with my wife which caused me to do drugs like Ibuprofen only to mistake them for heroin and get arrested by a meter maid and break into a Million Little Pieces.
It's masterpiece! I'll call myself Ishmael and open the story with something original about how it was the best of times and the worst of times. Then I'll get on Oprah. She'll love it!!!
You see, it really isn't about writing something from our heart, recognizing that every life holds a story within it, it's really about being rich and famous and not taking any chances that our life story is too dull for even fifteen seconds of fame. Why should less interesting people get the credit for work we deserve to own? Lucy was right, we are the pretty people we deserve to be the Christmas queen. Why risk writing drivel when so many lesser people have written such great things for us to use?
I'm glad you found this type of behavior so helpful to your people. I wouldn't want you to think people like us were just leeches.
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Fish tales
[Read the article: He'd rather be fishing]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You know, at every daily briefing, every meeting with foreign dignitaries, every time he steps to the podium to take questions, Bush is thinking about that great fish he caught.
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The sky is falling up
[Read the article: But at least we're enjoying the ride]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]In other news, the congress voted to declare that Los Angelos will now be referred to as The Angels. No word on whether the Anaheim Angels of Los Angelos will now be referred to as the Anaheim Angels of the Angels. Until the Rally Monkey actually gets them in the playoffs no one cares.
Also, please memorize the following Jingoized names for our Godfearing troop supporting ain't Bush grand cities:
Saint Dago
Saint Fey
Saint August
Pale Height
Saint Frank
Also
Amarillo will now be Ama like
Colorado will be the state called Red
New Mexico will be called Old Fuss and Feathers
and Texas or (Tejas to you commie illegals) will now be changed to Daaaiiirrryyy Queeeen.
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Typical
[Read the article: Mary Cheney and the F-bomb]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Let's see, a man who champions equal rights for all including gays, and rails against two Americas with those who are denied basic liberties and respect cow under those who rule by wealth is a "slime" while a VP who cynically uses homophobia to pursue absolute power and the conquest and murder of thousands is, well, such a sweet papa. I guess the strange fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. Not every German is a nice guy and not every lesbian deserves are respect or assumption that they believe in equal justice for all.
Musselini had a daughter, too. I don't recall her running for the Italian Congress on a platform of honesty, respect or justice. I would think that last thing anyone would want would be to support this woman just because she uses other women the way her dad uses our country.
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Death to Microsoft
[Read the article: Exclusive Daily Download: "Seventeen Devils," Starlight Mints]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I have been trying for the past week to download this song to my iPod with no luck. I have a tabletop Windows XP and I now agree, Gates should feel bad about all the money he made, kind of the way Stalin should feel bad for all the people he killed. I sadly lack the income and the 9mm to put this computer out of its misery but I'm saving up. Before I reach the lay away amount, is there any way to actually transfer a Salon song to my iPod? I've tried everything and the damn file just keeps coming up as either a text file or just disappears. Anyone with a Window XP who figured out how to transfer music from Salon to their iPod, please let me know and don't say, get I tunes. I have i Tunes and I've tried transfering the song to it but it doesn't work. I download the song to My Music which immediately forgets it ever saw it and then any time I do find it it is a text file unable to transfer. I'm ready to go on a rampage. If anyone reading this doesn't want to see me on top a school book depository building sniping away, please let me know how the hell to download a Salon download to my iPod. For the NSA who is monitoring this call I give you the following key call signs: Bush Osam, Saddam, dumbass kill kill kill and my pet goat Eat my shorts you lowlife hack.