Letters to the Editor
David L.
Published Letters: 196 Editor's Choice: 9
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LW and LWconfused...
[Read the article: I feel terrible about leaving but I have to go]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm going to assume, for arguement's sake, that the LW and LWconfused are indeed the same person...here's what I'm reading: Hmm, relationship is kinda lame, getting worse, the boyfriend I'm shacking up with is a bore (and borish)...now I have a chance to get out of this, should I do it? And oh, BTW, he's becoming verbally abusive and manipulative...
Please, lady? Why the hell didn't you give all the facts in advance? Because to me, the choice seems rather obvious...one that doesn't need any validation from Cary or the rest of us on the forum here.
You need help...big time...and not from an advice column, neither. You're almost as immature as the man you are about to leave (and you should leave, to answer your question bluntly)...some would say you deserve each other, but that's not the same as being meant for each other. Thankfully, you've finally figured this out, so now it's time to move on. But seriously, you need to find own inner self before you "pollute" another person's universe with your own burdensome issues...then mooch off of them financially. In fact, that really begs the question: if you weren't that into this guy in the beginning (making statement about being taken care if it doesn't work out), why the fuck did you ever decide to go live with him? And if my assessment doesn't factor in such things as, oh, I dunno, love maybe...then why didn't yall just get married, if you really cared about each other that much?
If I was more interested in pursuing this conversation, it would be nice to know what your childhood was like, and how that might have affected your perception of relationships and the opposite sex...but in the interest of time, the simple answer is to move on, for your sake and his...
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Nice reply, LW...
[Read the article: My girlfriend's stepfather is a real a-hole ... and a dying man]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Too bad you just proved you immaturity a little more by the tone of your post on the forum (assuming that is you)...
Look, Cary is 100% right about this, based on the limited amount of information you gave him in your letter. I think the phrase "unmitigated prick" would only apply to, say, Nick Nolte's father in "Affliction" (played masterfully by James Coburn)...you're being way too hard on a dying man that doesn't OWE you anything in his remaining days on this earth.
What are going to do about it anyway? Tell him how you feel? He doesn't give 2 shits about you now, and probably doesn't give another 2 shits about his step-daughter...just what would telling him how you feel now accomplish, other than ruin your burgeoning relationship? Your post seems to be crying out for justification to have some "I'll show 'em" moment with the step-father...and Cary (and everyone else here) are raining on that parade for you, and rightfully so.
And speaking of burgeoning relationships...I'd question the long-term viability of this mate you have chosen for the moment...the fact she dropped a supposedly lousy long-distance relationship for you has been picked up by other folks in this forum as a serious red-flag, and rightfully so.
If the step-father wants to go the way he is, too bad...for you, at any rate. Sucks to be in that kind of position. You need to buck-up and be a man now...drive over there and pick up your woman properly, face the "unmitigated prick" as best you can, overcome this challenge, and move on with your life...either with or without this catch-of-a-woman. I don't give 2 shits either way, but be a man, god-damnit!
**PS - Cary, tnx. for bring the phrase "two shits" back to life...it's one of my favorite sayings, because so many people need to hear that every once in a while...
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WWHD
[Read the article: My brother is no good, and I've had enough!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I don't think you can read between the lines and infer that the LW's brother is around that much, or has really any contact with her kids/spouse...but no matter. I can see why the LW is under great stress. Hell, with somebody else driving a car under my name (even someone reliable), I wouldn't sleep that well either.
Instead of asking WWJD, or the more secular WWFS (What Would Freud Say)...I'm really curious to know WWHD (What Would Hubby Do)? I can't imagine how the LW justified, to her own husband, how she ended up paying for a rental car for her ex-con brother, a man known to be irresponsible, a liar, and a worthless excuse for a human being...and a likely target of bad luck in general due to the choices they've made in life.
I use that phrase because in our extended family, we have somebody that consistently has a stream of bad luck in life...and it all revolves around the dumbass decisions they made when it came to furthering their education, dating immature people, holding a decent paying job, finding a place to live, etc. They take advantage of whatever breaks they get, then run them into the ground...then wonder why something goes wrong.
Consciously or not, the LW is enabling this family member to be who they are...and it needs to end, starting with the re-apprehension of the rental vehicle that's probably not even in the brother's name...if he puts up a fight about it, call rental car company, cancel the contract, and report the vehicle as stolen. Sure, it may end up reflecting poorly on the LW's credit or whatever, but she's better off risking that than letting this train-wreck of a brother keep driving it.
Do it...for your brother's own good, but also for the sake of your own husband and family...they are your MAIN priority now, the rest of your extend-family baggage should take a backseat.
Get it? Backseat? Car? HARDY-F'ING-HAR!!!