Letters to the Editor
David L.
Published Letters: 197 Editor's Choice: 9
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Functioning alcoholic...
[Read the article: Am I an alcoholic?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]That's the phrase I've heard used to describe Joan Allen's character in "The Upside of Anger." In fact, anyone that hasn't seen it really needs to, because it definitely shows how alcohol (like any addictive "happy" drug) can become a crutch people lean when they are depressed, or angry, or disappointed with life...whatever the case may be.
I don't think the LW is an alcoholic, but she's on the road to that. The advice below about not buying any more alcohol for the household is very good...you are allowing yourself to drink because that item is readily available. Just remove it for a few months and see how that works. In the meantime, find something else to do in the wee hours of the morning...like writing letters to Salon, or Slate, or any number of websites. Join a cooking or craft forum online, write an article for your church (?), just do SOMETHING other than sit and watch TV. Basically, create a new down-time pattern afterhours, where you keep yourself busy doing other things...things that might give you better gratification in the long run.
Be thankful you are only doing this a few drinks every other night...because you're at a point where going cold-turkey won't be as physically difficult to do.
And finally...if you are fretting over 15-20 pounds, please find something else more important to worry about...many of us hefty Salon readers would die to be that close to our appropriate weight. If I were one of your friends, my advice on that would be "F***in' WAAAAAHHHH!" But if that's going to be your excuse to dump alcohol from the household, then so be it....use it to your advantage.
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Save the drama for your baby mama...
[Read the article: I don't want more kids but my wonderful husband does]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I can't believe I'm reading this "perfectly" difficult dilemma here...but assuming this is all true, and the LW is being completely honest about her decisions to still be potentially fertile, here goes my take...
First, if the LW suffers from endo., then we are all making a lot of assumptions about whether this child is going to even make it to birth...we've been told by doctors (since this is something we kinda have to deal with) that having endo. makes the pregnancy a lot more risky, for the child at any rate.
But, let's also assume for the moment that even that's not an issue. What should the LW do? Well, Cary's advice is patently absurd, but at least it brings up something to discuss with the husband...the LW can throw this idea out, then gauge just how serious the husband is about wanting to have a child. If he's hedging even just slightly, then go to the abortion clinic, or make plans to give the child up for adoption.
Beyond that, the LW really needs to think about why she let her phys. and husband brow-beat her into not having her tubes tied. If she's just too weak to put up a fight, and she REALLY doesn't want to have a child, now is the time to figure that out on her own...she's carrying the child, she has to do all the heavy lifting. She also needs to make sure that this "wonderful" husband is dedicated enough...if he is, then maybe raising this child won't be so damn difficult this time.
I hate to be mean, but the LW really should have put her money where her mouth is on this one...if she said from the beginning of the relationship "NO CHILDREN," she should have taken steps to make that permanent. Oh well...