Letters to the Editor
David L.
Published Letters: 197 Editor's Choice: 9
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All of these answers are virtually the same, but this one is slightly different...
[Read the article: My husband is groping my sister]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'll start this off by telling a little story about a good friend and colleague of mine...
My friend (let's call her Jane) used to be married to quite a louse of a human being. She had 3 kids with this guy, and put up with a lot of shit...most of it stemming from drug addiction...A difficult life moving from one place to the next, blowing whatever money they had on drugs...she may or may not have been a participant, but I do know that she always gave her husband the benefit of the doubt for the "sake of their marriagge"...to a fault.
Well, one day she got pulled over and the cops found her husband's drugs in the car...since Jane's husband was not in the car (and wouldn't take the fall for it), she got put in jail and convicted of a felony for possession of narcotics. There's a lot of details that I still don't know, but once she was clear from jail, she took the kids and left his dirt-bag ass and that world behind, never to be seen again. From then on, she spent the next 15 years rebuilding her life...which, if you have a felony conviction, is not very easy to do, because a lot of places won't hire you because of that prior conviction.
Just to give you an idea of how much of an asshole her ex-husband was, it took almost that entire 15 year period of time for her to nullify her divorce...something that could have been done much sooner had her ex just signed the paperwork before staggering out of town to some other place...She had to hire a detective on more than one occasion to find this guy to serve the papers, but the fuck wouldn't even give her the satisfaction of finalizing the divorce (again, long story, can't go into detail as to why getting the divorce was so hard). Somehow, she was able to legally nullify it..but it took a long time to do it.
So now, after all of these years, she finally has her act together. She has a nice home, 3 fairly well-adjusted kids (considering how their first few years of life were just awful), and a loving, loyal boyfriend that has been by her side for many years now.
So...here's the moral of the story for the LW: Your FOOLING yourself if you think sticking around with this loss-of-a-human-being called your husband is going to get any better. People can change, but only if they try...and your husband has demonstrated that he can't/won't change, despite the numerous chances you've made for him. So do yourself a favor, before you end up doing (or not doing) something that f's up your life and your kids' lives even more. This guy is now just a sperm donor, he no longer is their daddy...your lack of mentioning "how good he is with the kids" kinda confirms that aspect.
I also will add that you and your sister, whore that she is for allowing this to happen, were cut from the same cloth. And there's something in both of your backgrounds that allows you to allow men to treat you this way...again, knowing what kind of childhood you had would explain a lot here. But the simple fact is this: you need to grow some balls and move on with your life, without your husband...and probably without your sister, unless she truly is deserving of forgiveness. It's really best for you and your children to do this now, before you end up doing something you REALLY regret and have to spend the rest of your life trying to fix...
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This would have been more clear-cut...
[Read the article: My girlfriend's daughter is dressing like a stripper for Halloween!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If the daughter in question was 8 or 10 years old...and sadly, I saw some girls in their pre-teens that wore outfits that were...well, bordering on the revealing side...ick...
But we're talking about a 16 year, one that knows FULL WELL what they are doing, and why they are dressing that way. The LW is extremely naive to think that the girl is being pressured into doing this...she made that choice, willingly for herself...And if she's a senior in HS, then you you are either WAY off on the ages...or she's just that much smarter, probably in advanced placement classes...which again, disproves your point that she doesn't know what she's doing.
I reiterate: a 16 year old SENIOR in HS, dressing in a slutty outfit for Halloween...and you say she doesn't know what she's really doing to herself?
If you were a school teacher, you'd give teenagers a lot more credit in the brains dept. Been there, done that, seen it all. Kids can be like mindless sheep sometimes, but they aren't that freakin' dumb.
And the final nail your coffin is this: she ain't your child! If her mother thought this outfit was okay, well, then that's it then...sucks to be you, I guess, but you have no choice in the matter. And don't dare say anything to the parent, because you'll be crossing a very clear parental/societal boundary line, and you just might get called out on it...in a very negative way.