Letters to the Editor
MomoCat
Published Letters: 39 Editor's Choice: 15
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Oh the horror
[Read the article: Sexual healing]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I could relate to some of this letter (the post-partum stuff) and not to some (the Kama Sutra, conquer-the-world-of-sex stuff), but here's what it made me think of: It's not bad to read this kind of work because it gives people insight into a part of life with which they might not yet (or ever) be personally familiar. And that's a big reason why we read other people's writing - we find out about stuff we might not of known before.
My own post-partum revelation, which came as a complete surprise, was that all the families I knew (mainly orthodox religious) who had a series of kids all born less than or around a year apart were created by having sex while the mother was still 'post-partum' from the last birth. And I just thought, OUCH! But then, that was my own personal reaction.
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No silver bullets
[Read the article: Bring on the biofuels]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Biofuels are not necessarily 'green' in the sense that they are manufactured by tree-hugging environmentalists. They are green in that they are renewable. Just like wood and other forms of renewable energies (to which animal fat could be added, if you want to stretch the definition). Doesn't make them environmentally friendly, necessarily - palm oil production is a perfect example of this dichotomy.
There are no silver bullets in the search for a petroleum replacement, no single 'energy' that we can grow enough of so we won't have to alter our attitudes or lifestyles in some way. Arguing over how many btu's ethanol vs. petroleum production consumes is just a distraction. There won't be enough petroleum at some point, period.
And keep in mind the various interested parties behind the various studies. Why isn't biodiesel (much more efficient to produce) even on the table in most of the US? Ask the agricultural community what they produce most of. Ask the car makers who don't make diesel engines for the US market but produce them for the diesel/biodiesel blends popular in Europe.
Why, if diesel is being produced, is it as a soy by-product and not with more potentially efficient plants? Ask the soy producers.
Why are studies published and then relentlessly repeated that discredit biofuel production? Ask the petroleum interests. Duh.
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Repeat rinse repeat
[Read the article: Bring on the biofuels]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]And apologies for repeating some of the same arguments mentioned upthread.
The topic just gets me rambling.
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The good, the bad, and the ugly
[Read the article: My mother-in-law, my mother-in-law, my mother-in-law!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I had a similar MIL experience to the LW, one that was complicated by years of linguistic misunderstandings since my husband and I come from different countries/languages/backgrounds. Things didn't get better once she realized she couldn't get rid of me, they just got worse. Many of the same jealousy issues mentioned by other writers here were also involved. She didn't speak to me for 3 months when we announced we were getting married (no great loss, of course) and didn't attend the wedding.
Against that history, I agree with the advice of many of the writers here who advocate learning the word 'no' without being mean or aggressive, clarifying the extent of the abuse to the husband (who may genuinely not be able to confront his 'perfect' mother or even see that anything is very wrong), and gaining some distance.
I have two things to add:
1. After the long process of learning compassion for both her and myself, my MIL have what I would consider to be an excellent relationship now, after 20 years of interaction. I drew limits, she has learned to respect them. I bite my tongue when she makes stupid comments, she usually apolgizes later (!). It took her awhile to find out she didn't have to scratch my eyes out to keep her son on her side - we could share him. It turned out she actually has some experience of great value to share with me, and I have some to share with her. Good thing we didn't stop talking.
2. Future mother-in-laws of the world, take heed - this LW could be writing about you in just these terms in the not-too-distant-future. So if the MIL sounds crazy, just remember, she thinks the same thing about the LW. One person's insane MIL is another person's caring mother whose son was stolen away by a harpy. So look back, remember this poor daughter-in-law's letter, and don't become 'that' MIL.
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The long way 'round
[Read the article: I used to be funny, but now I'm boring and self-conscious]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I've thought over the past few years that one of the biggest, and most unexpected, boons of growing older was a decreasing interest on my part what other people think of me. The better I know myself, bumps and warts included, the less I am concerned about them being found out by others. I'm sure there are little traits and major flaws that are glaringly visible in my character, but gee, I just don't seem to be as bothered by them now that I know their shapes and approximate sizes. I figure anyone who has hung around me long enough has probably noticed, too, and if they're still my friends, then there's not much to worry about. Actually, close friends probably noticed the advantages and flaws long before I did.
In my unsolicitied and purely subjective view, the LW in this case needs to look at why he frets that people he considers close friends know him so little that they would boot him when the laughter stops. He seems to me, in a rather adolescent manner, to be focused entirely on what people think of him, rather than who he really is. People already know who he is (and if they don't after all these years, then that's a sign of sociopathic posturing and someone like that wouldn't be writing Cary for advice).
Relax, LW. Your friends like you for who you are. Pay attention to them, enjoy their company, and be your good old, antic-loving, boring, neurotic self. That's why they keep inviting you to parties.
And if you are bored with your old antics, then stop them. It won't change who you are.