I am interested in how many times you call trich "a disease." No question, this is a real phenomenon that affects you and cannot be solved with will power alone, but I wonder if you've adopted this medical model view to stave off other people's judgment of you. The fact is, people are going to judge you (as they judge me and everyone) whether or not whatever behavior that sets you apart is a disease or not. Using language like that might make you feel even more different. I don't know.

It does seem like you've spent significant time and energy trying to manage the problem (the various meds and treatments you mentioned) and none has worked well enough so far. I'd encourage you to keep trying. Your age or whatever else was going on might have affected previous treatments in the past, but may not affect you now. You don't have to give up.

As far as the physical effects, I'm going way out on a limb here, and I don't know you, but sometimes people damage their appearance in self-protective ways, as troubling as the effects are consciously. Could there be any part of you that holds on to the perceived weirdness of your appearance as a way of keeping people at a distance? Or relishes the idea of having a secret self? I know a little something about this--I'm definitely not trying to minimize how frustrated you are.

Good luck.

god Laurel, you are always so grouchy. Most working people can scratch out 45 minutes here and there (turn off the tv--turn on the radio) to cook some goddamn vegetables and grains. Weekends are good times to make big soups and stews that can be tupperwared and brought to work (better than a sandwich any day). Not everyone--fine. But most people, I reckon. I'm one of them.

If that's the goal, it's a great decision.

Because this is fucking bullshit, and I just hate it when my heroes turn out to be regular assholes.

As my first letter in this thread indicates, I really think there is something wrong with the brother or the family these two come from. I have a lot of brothers (really: a lot), ranging from abysmal to great. Being kind of grossed out at the thought of one's sister having sex (with someone you know, no less)? Normal. This big of a hissy fit? NOT normal. The promise, the roommate, blah blah blah--trust me--I have a really good nose for fucked up brotherly love.

God knows, Cheney is pure evil and his crimes are incomparable, but I would hardly call Spitzer's crime victimless. His wife and kids are certainly victims. The people of New York who were punished for his hypocritical, reaction-formation laws about prostitution are victims, too.

Your brother is either in love with his roommate, with you, or you neglected to mention that you come from some kind of freakishly enmeshed family where it's any of his beeswax whom you sleep with. He's crying nights? Please. If this kind of thing is accepted in your culture of origin, then it's your culture that's making him unhappy. He'll get over it in time, or he won't, but it seems like it's out of your hands.

...but I guess the evangelicals don't want anybody speaking for them who can speak sense, reach out to people outside of their little club, or not sound like a total asshole at all times.

This guy also came pretty close to saying he voted for Obama and thought Palin was absurd. I wouldn't be surprised if that, more than the gay thing, was what got him ousted.

Dicks.

Ignore them. You may be all of those things, but we have no evidence of them from your letter. People in their mid-to-late twenties frequently go through this kind of period. What makes it last a longer or shorter time depends on individual characteristics, where you are, and when you are. You've come of age in the wrong place at the wrong time. There are worse places and worse times, but right now is bad enough for you.

When I was in a similar position a couple of years ago, I got a job "in the service industry," nominally, but it turned out to be a far better experience than it had to be. Let's say it was a small but thriving experimental theater. Because it was an interesting and stimulating environment, interesting and stimulating people tended to work there. It didn't pay much, but it made my second job (office work, but pleasant enough because I got lucky with my boss) more bearable. Meanwhile, I figured out what to do next. Don't go to the food court--go to an independent coffee shop or movie theater. Meet cool people. Give yourself some time to figure out what to do next.

You're doing better than I am. I'm not exactly a failure, so you're probably doing better than many. Here's the thing about all your illustrious former classmates, and I'm only guessing--it's not much of an accomplishment for a privileged, pampered, loved child to become a successful adult. Things that look smaller on paper may be far greater accomplishments. People have vastly different starting points in life.

One good thing happened at my high school reunion, though--I was the only person who had gotten thinner. Shallow? TOTALLY. Felt nice, anyway.

are as appealing as ever.

Too bad so many people are having such a hard time with equality.

Do people still think that expensive toys confer a greater advantage than a couple of basics that allow for imaginitive play? Good lord. The falling middle class can be so damn annoying.