I think some of what you described went beyond high pressured sex and into the realm of assualt. Maybe that's something you wanted or needed to hear, or maybe not. I respect that you may see it differently. You still know more about what happened to you than we do. It can be difficult to untangle as you start to describe it, to strangers, with certain details changed so as to not be identifiable...It's exhausting! I think therapy might be useful to you, and not because you're necessarily "messed up"--I think everybody deserves the right to talk things out with an interested listener. If money is a problem, a lot of universities and hospitals have counseling centers that offer services on a sliding scale, right down to free. You may end up talking to a graduate student instead of a licensed counselor, but in most cases, the person matters more than the years of experience.

I didn't think there was anything more shocking in this article than parallel "dumb guy" stories. Paraphrasing here..."They care so much about sports! And they won't ask for directions! And they think farting is really funny! What's up with that? Guys are soooo dumb!" Maybe the difference is that men don't (or shouldn't) take that kind of thing as a serious referendum on their actual intelligence. And neither should women.

Finally, let me register surprise that South Park and The Onion are known as "guy things," or at least that lonewolfy has several female friends who think so. What dummies! I bet they like Oprah.

I find Jo Frost inexplicably compelling, so I watch. I agree with previous posters that something was intensely wrong with the mother of six. I did not get a depression vibe per se. Either way, a visit from Supernanny wasn't going to do it. I hope that behind the scenes, mom and dad were strongly encouraged to get ongoing help. I was even more uncomfortable with the episode several weeks earlier, the single father with an abuse history and his two sons. The younger son's behavior, IMO, went way beyond general naughtiness. I hope that similar behind-the-scenes action occurred. But whatever happens behind the scenes does not make it into the show. Some problems can't be fixed with Supernanny-style discipline. The show should be more honest. (I can't believe I just wrote that a reality show should be more honest--what kind of a cynic am I?)

I haven't read through this entire thread to see whether more than one or two people have caught on to the postpartum depression that is screaming throughout this account, but I have definitely read a lot of posts about people who think the mother is just whining or just needs to try a different way of holding the baby. Postpartum reactions are on a continuum, and this mother appears to be in or nearing the danger zone (at least at the time of writing, some time ago). Postpartum depression and psychosis are real. It's pretty disheartening to think that such an obvious example of it inspires so little sympathy.

Did Marilyn French post on Broadsheet?! How did I miss it?

I'm pretty sure it was a character in one of Marilyn French's novels who said all men were rapists. You can make the argument that the character was only a mouthpiece for Marilyn French, but that's kind of a boring way of looking at novels. Which have lots of characters, in any case. None of whom are posting on Broadsheet.

Actually, I see you addressed my question in your letter to AKA, as I was writing it.

tina schrier--

You won't get them to see your side. Watching you try is like watching someone get beaten up over and over again. (Sometimes, I feel the same way about Brightstar...not the rubbish he's usually saying, but the responses.) Does it feel like that? It seems like it would hurt? I have had a terrible week, so maybe I am just sensitive to verbal swordplay.

I also wanted to add a comment to the person from the other thread (it went a lot like this one) who seemed to be saying that since he knows plenty of women who have been raped and are doing just fine, rape is not always traumatic. Other people made the obvious point that just because someone seems to be okay, doesn't mean they are okay. I want to add that most people have reserves of resilience, and that even very severe traumas can be overcome. Not forgotten, but yes, sometimes people who have been raped move on. I'm not sure what that actually says about the actual crime! Are we not supposed to care about what is experienced as incredibly painful as long as people can eventually get over it? This letter really got under my skin.

Gosh, LW, I sympathize--my college overseas experience was similar in some respects. I had a lot of trouble connecting to people there (there wasn't even a language barrier) and spent a lot of time feeling lonely.

But my memories of the place are almost all good, because much of the time I spent being lonely was outside the house looking at beautiful things. My strongest, best memories are from just walking around the city. (I did the museums and theatre thing, too.) I also read a lot of novels connected with where I was, which made it all the more meaningful. When I look back on those months now, it's with a sort of melancholy nostalgia.

I will say this, though--I had some good times with other people, most of which were at least somewhat lubricated with alcohol. If there's no predisposition or moral stance keeping you from it, a little might go a long way toward forming acquaintances you can at least have some fun with.

Take care.