From the header, I was expecting a real tale of woe--coming from a loser at least 10, maybe 20 years older than you are now, LW. So take a breath--you've got some time before you really deserve the title the Salon peeps handed you.

That said, well, it sounds like your parents are making it difficult for you to grow up. If they're not going to force you to learn some hard lessons, you've got to seek them out yourself. I don't know what kind of cultural or family background you come from, but even tightly-knit families whose children stay with them until marriage usually ask their adult children to contribute financially. So what's happening sounds kind of dysfunctional. In any case, you certainly aren't happy with it.

Stop letting your parents tell you what you can and can't do. Whatever happens from there, happens. The change is going to be less comfortable and less convenient. But you probably won't feel like a loser anymore.

Mm yes, MASH. The salve on many a long car trip. I played it through...um...college.

I believe there actually is a modest connection between exposure to real or simulated violence and violent fantasies or acts (the "violence" does not have to be murder...there's a continuum here as in everything). This connection can be seen in very young children. And in fact, it is a theory behind the high rates of suicide in doctors and police officers, who are exposed to violence and the effects of it in their everyday life.

Data backing this up? Sure, if I had more time and wasn't posting here as a minor diversion from my actual work. In any case, no research is going to show a one-to-one causal connection. I'm still on the side of freedom to indulge in fantasy.

It may be how you write, not where you are. But where are you? In spite of your "self-actualization," are you writing to Cary because you're feeling kind of empty? Empty is rarely good. Or is the LW the wife, seeing a husband disengage and attempting a letter in her husband's voice?

So, about that wife and kid. People saying she doesn't have a drinking problem because she's not hiding it or because 3 drinks isn't a lot are, how do I say, almost surely wrong. 3 drinks on a daily basis is a lot for a smallish woman. But alcohol abuse and dependence are not based on amount, they're based on the effects. The effects are present. Your son, meanwhile, may have something really wrong with him. Some kids are just free-spirited or creative or whatever else parents-in-denial want to see. But some kids are ghastly and firm, steady parenting is not going to be enough (if he's even getting that).

I'd definitely talk with your wife. If it's not the cat, it's going to be something else.

--the prostitutes who get paid in short skirts, a room to live, and the drug of their choice. The money they make goes right back to the pimp, which is fine as long as they have enough to get high. It's really not a choice by any normal definition.

The best thing that ever accidentally happened in college is that I got my hands on a video camera while I was drunk and narrated 1.5 hours of "hilarious" footage. Watching it with some friends, the next day, we all laughed. But watching it a week or so later was hor-ri-fying. My drinking went from "whoo! I'm a freshman away from home!" to "I'll just have one, thanks" basically overnight. I was lucky, because I was pretty young when I realized what an absolute idiot I (we) am (are) when drunk. I was also lucky because I apparently had no predisposition to abuse alcohol. Jan's problem sure seems like alcohol to me. Let her decide to go into a hotel room full of marines sober, and I'll celebrate her sexual sense of adventure. Otherwise, I see it as a pathetic symptom of drunkenness.

LW, people will say that it's none of your business to tell Jan's boyfriend about her unprotected sex with other men. That's true in a narrow sense. As a human being with the opportunity to do a huge favor for a fellow human being, you might want to go ahead and do it anyway.

Miss Caroline Bingley, exhibit A. How nice to meet you, Becky Sharp! And my favorite deconstruction of bitchy friendship, Heathers: "I don't really like my friends...they're people I work with, and our job is being popular."

Oh, that's good. Do you think the horses have?

Now that I've read some of the letters, I see I was not the first (or even the fifth?) person to single out that particular line.

Yada yada, I agree with everyone who's posted here so far. The dead man, who wasn't married to the liar or the murderer, came the closest to being blameless. I guess I just don't think sleeping with someone's wife is a good enough reason to get shot in the head. And I guess I don't think it's ever okay to pretend that your consensual lover is a rapist. If I believe the woman was afraid for her life, it's understandable, at least, but not right. This is why I don't date violent assholes! Or cheat! Jesus.

Do you really think that Joan Walsh's mild-mannered hesitation to fully salivate over Obama, with occasional veering into appearing into support Clinton, counts as some kind of campaign of terror against him? Really? Have you ever read actual negative coverage? You all better prepare yourselves, because the shit the Republicans are going to be spinning about your (and soon mine too) guy is going to make Joan Walsh look like the fuzziest bunny there ever was.

In the meantime, let me offer this salve: head over to Newsweek, because Jonathan Alter can't put pen to paper without slamming Clinton in some way.