Oh my god, healthyskeptic, take a breath.

Having said that, whether or not these findings are accurate, I am skeptical that they represent "disordered eating." Do women have to be emotionally in tune with every morsel of food (but not too in tune! don't want to look obsessed!) they consume in order to be ordered? Perhaps these symptoms are just part of the everyday business of navigating too much food and food-related literature, not enough time, opposing cultural forces, and looking good. I doubt men's relationship with food would look very different, though some of the "symptoms" might.

This is off-topic, but in the thread about beans from a couple of days ago, you told someone to make the soup recipe on the bag of Goya whole dried peas. I don't lack for soups, but I have to admit I'm curious about a back-of-the-bag recipe that is good enough to be a favorite. Only, my local store doesn't carry dried Goya. I've got the dried peas--would you mind giving me the recipe? (I didn't find it online.)

Not a need, obviously, but I would appreciate it!

I read through most of this thread because I'm trying to distract myself from a more irritating problem. In the first couple of pages, I learned that I find it kind of gross, rather than satisfying, to see usual Broadsheet haters posting congratulations for TCF. You mean, all we women have to do to get fulsome approval from nasty men is talk about how hard things are for you? If that's all it takes, why have we been struggling for so long to have a nuanced dialogue that allows for mistakes on both sides? "Women are indirect. Men are direct." It's so simple, and so much *nicer* to be patted on the head and told "good girl."

Then I learn that walter_map handles mild disagreements with other men by calling them poodles and other versions of de-balled, feminized creatures. This strategy provides some insight into how narrow a category masculinity is to walter_map. I'll take the broader version of manhood, thanks.

I'm still here. I would love to see how you connect a soup recipe to this letters thread. Perhaps your willingness to do a favor for a fellow cooking enthusiast is actually evidence that you are a whipped, downtrodden man?

I look forward to trying it.

Someone let the Yale art students know.

My immediate reaction to an article with a title like this is defensive and emotional...and then I realize I agree with the basic premise. I had this argument with my family (and their rabbi) repeatedly, until I realized that it was going to go nowhere. I think it's a big problem that the most vocal government supporters of Israel are right-wing Christians who stand against every other thing I'm for. My family sort of admits it's a problem, kind of, and then says, "But they support Israel."

Look, I support Israel. I think the world still needs it. I definitely think Jews still need it. But it's going to take more than Israel to make me friends with people whose policies hurt the poor, women, gays, and trees.

LW, there is nothing wrong with the way you live your life. And there is nothing wrong with the way your boyfriend lives his, except for the fact that he's judging you for not mirroring it. The problem is the incompatibility, no? That you suspect this difference would prevent you from deepening the relationship in a way that you long for? I agree. I am not sure why you included the detail that he's 10 years younger than you, but 45 is plenty old enough for one's financial values to be well-entrenched. This is quite sad, and I guess the truly difficult decision is whether to seek another relationship where something beyond is possible, or stick with what sounds like a pretty good situation for where you are right now. If I were you, I'd stick--but I'm not one of the two people inside this relationship.

I am sympathetic to your quest on this thread. I find myself [shudder] agreeing with you here (I often don't). Can I just say that part of the reason for my first positive post is that what Israel and its right-wing supporters have got going on now isn't working? Much of the world has lost sympathy for Israel. The right-wing Christian nutbars who support it for the sake of Armageddon aren't helping. Under no circumstances do I want these people on my side. So let's say I agree with you--most of the Arab world (or its leaders, anyway) don't want a "two state solution," they want Israel and as many Jews as possible obliterated. But one reason that message is being lost is that the wrongs that are going on there are disproportionately affecting civilians, not leaders. And two, the insanity on the right is too loud. Your message is escaping people's notice right now.

Well...can't really say you're wrong. But what do you mean "now they are both?"