Patrick, I feel your pain - though I know I don't suffer the daily indignities of the security check because I'm not a pilot. I travel frequently, nationally and internationally, and have since I was about 20 years old (I'm in my mid-30s). Over the past year, I've noticed that some TSA employees actually engage in what I consider to be harassment of passengers, namely female passengers. This is not everyone, I should underscore, and at my home airport I actually have "favorite" TSA employees, and I'm always glad when I see that they are on shift when I happen to be passing through security. However, I've heard some TSA agents make sexually suggestive comments to women, including myself, as they "strip down" from their sweaters and overcoats and belts, and I've also had one TSA agent in Newark verbally harass and harangue a colleague (another female) and myself as we scrambled to unload our laptops and carry-on items, struggling to get them through security safely. It was so bad that my colleague was near tears by the time we got to the other side and put our shoes back on. I think this behavior comes from a combination of entitlement, a sense of being above the law, and feelings of disgruntlement (I would hate to work for the TSA myself). It's getting totally out of control. Let's hope there's a change soon. And I agree with you -- while this might come across as petty complaining, I actually believe it's a huge problem and a gross example of the inefficiencies of security and bureacracy in this age of "homeland security."

Dear LW, you so clearly do not want to go. As an east coaster who loves California, I understand the sacrifice required to be happy in CA -- you truly have to have a deep, abiding love of the place (which I do) in order to overlook the distance from family and the outrageous home prices. You don't need to jump on the "I love California" bandwagon, there are enough of us on it as it is. Go with your heart. This country is full of plenty of other beautiful and worthy places to live.

That being said: is there a part of you that wants to try something new? You seem professionally successful and poised for upward movement. Can you go back to your boss and propose a "probationary" move to a furnished apartment/short-term residential accomodation rental for a few months to try it out, with the contractual agreement that if you don't like it you can come back to your old job? I say you can have everything and deserve to ask for it. It wouldn't hurt to put the offer on the table. Why settle? If your employers can ask you to resettle in an expensive part of the country far from home, you are equally entitled to ask them to give a little and provide you with some time and space to make an informed decision.