Letters to the Editor
aeschylus
Published Letters: 278 Editor's Choice: 4
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I thought Cary's was the worst response possible...
[Read the article: My boss says I'm a lesbian but I'm not!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]...but after much reflection, I think I can top it:
How do you *know* you're not a lesbian? Better go down on her a couple times just to be sure. Also, you should think about cutting yourself whenever plagued by thoughts of your dumpy wardrobe and hairy legs.
Hey! Being an advice columnist is easy! Where do I sign up?
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Forest for the trees, people...
[Read the article: My husband is groping my sister]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Look, the dude messed around with a neighbor, and is serially messing around with the sister. Chances are the husband strays because the LW's a fattie. Or she needs a makeover. Or both.
Let's try to stay on topic.
;)
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AKA Smith: it's called irony
[Read the article: My husband is groping my sister]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I was kidding. Hence the ;)
Of course the husband's a creep, and of course the LW should dump him.
I'm still under the thrall of Cary's terrible advice to the "lesbian-dressing" straight girl a few days ago. Just thought I'd get with the program and (maybe) give someone a chuckle. Well, okay: give *myself* a chuckle.
Still, with 2 kids I'll bet the LW probably could stand to hit the treadmill ;)
There I go again. Sorry.
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I understand the "hitler hysteria" charge, but...
[Read the article: Hitlers, Hitlers and more Hitlers]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Think about what pooh-poohing such hysteria implies. Are we saying that 6 million dead and a world war is the *lowest* the bar should be set? That no action is warranted until that bar is reached? If the bar is lower, then how low? The point of the "hysterics" (and it is a good one) is that it is better to defeat Hitler at the border of Poland rather than the gates of Auschwitz.
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"Dude, it's Halloween"?
[Read the article: My girlfriend's daughter is dressing like a stripper for Halloween!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Are you SHITTING us, Cary?
So how about dressing up like a Klansman? Is that edgy and transgressive enough for you? Sounds like you're going as a guy who fell off the wagon this year. Unbelievable.
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Yeah, you likely have a problem.
[Read the article: Do I have a drinking problem?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Go to some AA meetings and talk it out. Good luck!
P.S. Jesus, Cary! Do you want to be an advice columnist, or do you want to be a failed, frustrated novelist? Make up your mind.
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Are you SHITTING me?
[Read the article: Is waterboarding torture? Ask the prisoners]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm sure waterboarding is awful, but do you think Muslim detainees will give an unbiased answer where the administration did not? Seriously?
Hey, I've got an idea: let's ask death row prisoners if they think the death penalty is excessive. Yeah! That'd be productive. I'll ask the question again: is anyone in charge here, or is it a Wikipedia-type arrangement? Un-fucking-believable.
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Keep screaming. Most people have it coming.
[Read the article: After years of being meek, I'm suddenly screaming at people!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Don't put up with anyone's bullshit.
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Make up your mind, people!
[Read the article: How George Bush really found Jesus]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Either the president is a dangerous fascist theocrat, or he's a non-religious poseur.
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Just because you get an e-mail...
[Read the article: My boss forwards fluffy kitten e-mails!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]doesn't mean you have to read it. Next!
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Mr Humidity: what?
[Read the article: Jonah Goldberg's deeply "conflicted" thoughts on war and torture]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If someone supports the war, then they should have to enlist? Is that your position? Seriously?
Well that's brilliant. Do you support having your garbage picked up? Then why aren't you a garbage man? Ever looked at some video porn? Bet it never even occurred to you to spend a summer as an apprentice fluffer, you selfish bastard. Do you eat red meat? You slaughter the cow yourself then, I hope. And I could go on and on, but someone such as yourself who made the argument you made would never get it. Ever.
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Interesting...
[Read the article: On the fake campaign trail]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Less than a month ago you guys smacked FEMA around for their fake news conference. Sen. Clinton gets caught doing the same thing, and all of a sudden, "well, it's all a part of the process. *Everyone* does it."
What bullshit. You go on and on and on about President Bush's not being accountable, and now you pull this. You really need to get rid of your search engine if you plan to continue in this vein.
And if everyone does it, why did Hillary's campaign go into its familiar denial mode rather than tell the truth? Could we please have a politician that would try that for a change.
You Libs catch Hillary in all these little falsehoods, shrug your shoulders and say, "Well, that's Hillary for you. But she only lies about the little stuff."
Do you really think that this habitual dishonesty won't carry over to the "big" stuff?
If so, would you mind giving me your bank account number so that I can wire you a deposed Nigerian prince's fortune minus a small administrative fee?
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Ha! President Shrubby!
[Read the article: When did we become like Syria?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]See, because his last name is Bush! But you don't like him, so you changed it to "shrub"! But then -- and here's the genius part of it -- you added the belittling "y" at the end! LMAO!
Please, sir. Share more of your wisdom. Someone with your bumpersticker understanding of politics and foreign affairs, combined with your obvious talent for turning a phrase, surely has much to teach us.
You wouldn't happen to be the one who came up with that Petraeus/Betray us thing, would you? That was another bit of Swiftian genius.
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Channel it into the music.
[Read the article: I'm in love with my bandmate]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Think of Fleetwood Mac. I'm sure there are others bands that rode a similar dysfunctional vibe to stardom.