Letters to the Editor
Published Letters: 28 Editor's Choice: 4
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unfortunately...
[Read the article: Whitewashing the New Orleans vote?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The problems with absentee voting will mean that Ray Nagin can claim he was voted out unfairly, instead of voted out by the landslide of opposition he deserves.
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wait, wait, wait...
[Read the article: The Fix]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Didn't Pamela Anderson divorce Tommy Lee (at least in part) because he'd given her hepatitis? How can she drink anything? Did she get a liver transplant we haven't heard about?
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NO. NO. NO. And again, NO.
[Read the article: I want to carry a child for my sister]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Surrogacy within a family distorts boundaries in ways that even the healthiest, most well-balanced families would have a hard time with. Regardless of any compulsion the letter writer feels, she needs to spend some time meditating on her existing obligations -- to her husband, of course, but even more to her three existing children. Those obligations supercede any heroic desire she may have to help her sister out.
To start with, pregnancy isn't a benign process. A mother of three should think twice about elective surgery, bungee jumping, or anything else that's going to put her and her family at risk. What if the pregnancy lands her on bed rest? What if she has high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, or -- God forbid -- preeclampsia or a stroke? These are all common complications in pregnant women above the age of 35. It's one thing to undertake those risks with the support of one's husband, in the name of building your own family. It's quite another to expose yourself to them because you want to be a hero.
The letter writer may think she'll have no trouble relinquishing the child she's carried for nine months to her sister, but how will her children feel? Pregnancy involves everyone in a family, not just the woman carrying the child. Her husband will feel the baby move at night, in bed, and get used to the idea of the new child developing, whether he wants her to be pregnant or not. Her children will have to answer their friends' questions about the new sibling they won't be getting. How does an eight-year-old explain surrogacy to other eight-year-olds? Why force your children to deal with these things if they don't have to?
The obsession with having children you're biologically related to is ignorant at best and narcissistic at worst. The letter writer should know, as a married woman, that she created a new family when she married her husband. Her husband, not her sister, is her next of kin. In the same way, an adopted child is every bit as much a family member as a child born through surrogacy. The letter writer should encourage her sister to adopt instead of indulging her own fantasies of heroism and her sister's misguided belief in the importance of biological relation.
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Great article, but...
[Read the article: The sexiest man living!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]where, oh where is Tim Gunn on this list?
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Santa exists if we believe
[Read the article: My 13-year-old still believes in Santa Claus]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The 13-year-old is probably choosing to believe in her own version of Pascal's Wager. It's all good if Santa does exist -- and if Santa doesn't exist, it doesn't change much, except that her parents will express regret at how fast she's growing up.
But you're right, Cary. It is possible to pass from a literal belief in Santa to a poetic one. The best way to do that is to play Santa oneself, for those who wouldn't otherwise get presents from Santa.
The LW should sit down with her daughter and imagine a specific child who won't be getting a Christmas present; find, make or buy the perfect present for that child; and then donate that present to the nearest family shelter or children's hospital.
That way, the LW's daughter will know what Santa really is, and some anonymous child will, too.
Merry Christmas.
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I expect better usage from Salon, that's for sure...
[Read the article: Matthews lets one slip]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]PLEASE fix this headline. It's embarrassing and it hurts me to look at it.
"Let's" is a contraction for the two words "Let us." "Lets" is the verb you want. No one should have to tell you this, and you should never have allowed more than one post on this subject.
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The point that needed to be made
[Read the article: Rutgers women's basketball coach speaks out]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I was glad to see the Rutgers women's team's press conference today, which highlighted the real injury done to these young women. At a time when they should be enjoying the tail end of a spring semester, congratulating themselves on a great basketball season and a near-perfect tournament run, they're having to talk about how they feel about being called "nappy-headed hos."
As Coach Stringer asked, where were the national media three weeks ago, when they should have been asking these young women how it felt to be winners, how it felt to be world-class athletes on a roll? Nobody cared. No one was interested.
Now, everyone wants to ask them how it feels to be a victim.
This is the wrong message. This is the wrong lesson. And this is brought to us by Don Imus, and THAT is the damage he's done.
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What's a stereotype?
[Read the article: Killer reflection]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I think most of the school shooters, regardless of race, have been described as "smart but quiet." And if this is an accurate description, how is this a stereotype?
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Understand the consequences
[Read the article: I don't want more kids but my wonderful husband does]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]One of the anonymous responders was right, and my heart breaks for her. If the LW proceeds with the abortion, knowing her husband wants this child, that relationship will never recover. He won't be able to give her the support she needs, no matter how he tries; she won't be able to empathize with his grief and loss, and he'll hide those feelings from her. More and more time will pass silently, with more and more anger building, and the relationship will not survive.
The LW might feel angry about having the child, but having the child opens a spectrum of future choices and opportunities -- good and bad -- that she can't imagine right now. Aborting the baby would be an effort to preserve the status quo, but the status quo is already gone.