@ bicoastal

Liked your observation in your blog.

Yeah - men do expect this and it is directly related to the prevalence of internet porn since mid-90's.

(Now all the trolls will come out and say I am anti sex or something. sigh)

After a long absence - I restarted with an old flame and found out his tastes now include the nakid pussy. I was fine before - but now he wants me to modify what I am. When I told him that if we are together long enough, I will naturally be bare there - he was horrified and disgusted by the prospect. But if I waxed it all off now? sexy!!!

You men are a funny bunch. I am still try to figure out if you are worth it. I like the idea of you, but the reality has been rather disappointing. I prefer to be a free spirit and I find the requests to conform add an undesired weight. Sex is wonderful but I suppose in the end I will decide growing old in the midst of family and friends and interests to be more fulfilling than the fantasy of a soulmate. Wish I understood this in my 20's - wasting many years of my life thinking that a sexy soulmate had to be right around that corner.

My observation? Men do react positively to fake and that responce has more impact than the words that come out of your mouth in favour of natural. Also, the more a woman invests in artifically modify her body to conform to the male ideal - the more she worries and obsesses over her "failings". So the closer to "perfect" she becomes - the more energy she wastes maintaining that state.

I prefer to enjoy the body I have and put the energy and money into my interests than the latest body fad. I wish more women were willing to thumb their noses at the beauty "ideal" Wish more men did the walk, as well as the talk.

Wish I could believe that would happen.

@Clockwork Smurf

Balding and full haired, barefaced, mustashed (sp?), full beard, goatee. That has never been a "deal breaker" with me as far as i know. I've never made a request of a paramour to alter their appearance and have been a little affronted when requests are made of me. I have been asked "should I shave", "should I let it grow in" and I have always replied with "what do you want to do?" Facial hair by the way. I specifically did not want to dictate or influence what he did with his hair.

Perhaps it was the era I came of age? I really like people who are comfortable in their skin and I probably am attracted to non-conventional hippy-"lite" types. I like feeling comfortable in my skin. I don't like the request that I should be something other than what I am. It makes me self conscious and less than relaxed in my own skin. It makes me feel I am a disappointment. And . . . I feel insulted when I find out someone wants whats what they've been looking at in porn. Especially when what they state they found attractive in me in the first place is my naturalness and spirit. They want me to conform to an image.

However - I guess I am somewhat demanding on the physcical front - I want good hygiene, I want someone who takes care of their body with diet and activity. It is not anything more than I demand of myself.

@Fractal

Your history and shaving bit is disingenuous.

Yes, there is a history of hair removal occuring at different eras, or in different cultures. Hygiene issues, religious issues, marital state, occupation (sex traders.) Yeah, but this current trend has none of those things in common, and in fact only went mainstream in the past decade. And is specifically comes from the mainstreaming of porn.

Where do you think the current fad came from?

Porn in the 60's and 70's and even through the 80's still protrayed women with hair on their genetailia, but as the practice of shaving and waxing became more common among the society at large, porn reflected this change.

I came of "age" in the late 70's. Never saw or heard of anyone who removed their genital hair. (oh - I did as a lark but was disturbed by how much it looked like my 11 year old self. No one saw it. And itched like hell while it grew back. Not going to repeat the performance. Not for anyone.)

You really believe porn followed society at large? Want to make the same claim with boob jobs? That as society at large became more accepting of this particular body modification it began to be reflected in porn?

Porn does not follow society. The reverse is true, especially when it comes to female body mods and sex acts. The thing of porn is, it used to be hard to find. Now it sometimes finds you.

That is what has changed.

And Fractal? You're just another BS troll who hangs out here to get women to talk to you.

@Anonymous_Too

When I read some of your posts I feel like you are just ahead of me on this path. You have come to conclusions and understandings that I feel I am in the process of coming to.

I'd write more but it would be too OT. Just wanted you to know I appreciate your insights and posts here.

I'll eventually get to a point where I let go of what I want but cannot have and I believe I will find peace there. Still fighting myself on this yet.