There is no fake trend story, no dubious "study" finding, no fluffy evergreen piece that this column does not immediate enshrine as absolute fact. This piece is just assumed to be cast-iron *true* as a starting point, then the writers will find ways to agonize about it. No fact-checking, sanity-filtering, nothing like that. If it's about sex and was published somewhere, it's true. Run with it.

Oh, wait, you're not actually *defending* him, because you can't. You're just telling us to shut up and go away if we don't like him. Which is rather pathetic.

Is there not a point when you're typing this shite where you start hating yourself? Where you start thinking you could have gone and worked for TMZ instead?

OMG, Paris doesn't like Nicole! Thanks, Salon, for your profound feminist insight.

Eskimo, Arapaho ...

The Church is your enemy. You don't want to be a part of it. You don't want to be a priest in it. You want it destroyed.

Why do these awful people insist on lingering around the scene, festering?

This is exactly the same as "Sex and the City" -- the same whiny, boring, self-absorbed, selfish, self-referential obsessiveness.

The market has been predicting an Obama victory in the Primary competition with virtual certainty for months. And the market has been predicting a Democratic victory in the General with a steady 60/40 confidence for months. You can check any of the futures markets or betting sites.

There has been absolutely zero recent news about the likelihood of an Obama Presidency that hasn't already been factored in. As far as the market is concerned, nothing has happened in Presidential or Capital Gains Tax rates news lately. Nothing at all.

How would you create a Cary Tennis April Fool? What could be too ridiculous, too self-indulgent, too whiny and insane to be a real Cary Tennis fake letter?

The answer is, none, really. None more black.

Tell us what your god *does*, tell us how and when he/she/it does these things, form a testable hypothesis or else SHUT THE HELL UP, moron. There is nothing more to be contributed by another dim-witted "theologian" bleating about the "dogma" of scientific veracity and making special pleading for his stupid pet superstitions. Your magic books and imaginary spirit beings and incantations and ritual gibberish have nothing to tell us about the origin or nature of the universe and have nothing to do with science.

What's the usual rate?

Men still can't get pregnant. Sorry.

If you were born healthy and unambiguously male from a biological perspective, and you truly truly believe that you should be a woman, then the problem is not with your healthy male organs and tissues, the problem is in the brain that tells you that those things are bad and evil and should be cut off.

That seems blindingly obvious.

If you really can find no way to solve your problems other than through surgery, then, fine by me, and I'll call you by whatever name you prefer and politely accept the fiction that you wish to project. So be it.

But it's not my fault you're a man who doesn't want to be a man. And wanting to be a woman and wishing you were a woman doesn't make you one. Your wishes and reality don't always match up, and life is tough sometimes. Deal.

I have every sympathy for people who have debilitating psychological problems that compel them to have disfiguring surgery. I empathize, really I do, but there's not really much I can do for you.

And if the brain tells you that you are a woman, even though you have an XY chromosome pair and healthy, normal male genitalia, then the seat of your identity is what's out of whack. There's nothing wrong with your body; what's causing you unhappiness is your mind, not your testicles.

That doesn't diminish or affect how you feel. It doesn't make your experience any less genuine. But the disorder is mental, not physical, and pretending otherwise is pointless.

Go ahead, cut your balls off and call yourself Joan if you want, it's all one to me. But for all this talk that the body is just a vessel & all that you're very determined to change it.

Nature and the English language which are conspiring against you, today. Maybe you should just stay in bed.

I thought trannies had no problem in "picking" a gender, anyway, just that they picked the one that they're not.

Let's beat McCain on his lack-of-merit rather than playing stupid, childish, pedantic Rovian games like this, OK?

The law is absolutely clear on this matter, there is no doubt whatsoever that McCain is a "natural born citizen" and stooping to this level is shameful. Fuck yourself, Kilgore.

When you say stupid and asinine things; you'll occasionally get called a stupid ass. Now dry your tears and man up, whiner.

Mencken sums it up to a T.

Other people, somewhere, may be enjoying themselves, so Sarah wants you to know that she is skeeved, disgusted, horrified, outraged, and must write about it.

As you were.

It was ITV.

Waugh was a loathsome person and, in "Brideshead", created his most loathsome characters in his image. That's part of the fun.

Dear idiots,

This is not complicated.

When you create a cafepress design, it go on any and all of the merchandise cafepress provides.

Giberson has *nothing to say*. Nothing, whatsoever, to say. He likes complaining, he likes calling people names, he likes being offended, and he likes the sound of his own voice. But he has nothing to contribute on the substantive issues.

Again, Giberson, MAKE A CASE. Come up with a testable hypothesis, a way of demonstrating the validity of your fantastic beliefs about magic elves and magic crackers, or SHUT THE HELL UP.