Ritzy Neighbor clearly trespassed and committed vandalism. The fact that oleanders are highly toxic might add further criminal charges. Once criminal charges have been filed, Ritzy could also be sued in Small Claims Court to force her to remove the bushes and repair the damage to the yard.

Of course, it's possible that the house-bound old lady will appreciate that the bushes will shield her from having to look at Ritzy. Clearly Ritzy is a Pro-War Republican, and nobody should have their day spoiled by having to see one of them.

And,Cary, regarding your admiration of Ritzy Neighbor, do you also admire GWB and Cheney for their "brazen" actions against Iraq, et al?

A person (Ritzy) who looks at their neighbor and sees not a person, but a yard, is to be pitied, not admired. Perhaps a neighborhood prayer vigil for her withered soul?

Greenbriar posted:

"the woman who planted the oleanders is miserable. . .

"Smile and wave when you see her. The more that woman thinks she can get away with things like what she did, the more audacious she's going to get. . . her level of cunning will be directly proportional to how much resistance she thinks she'll encounter. I notice she already assumes she has your support. If she gets self-righteous enough, starts to get high on being the voice of reason and being in charge of the neighborhood, she'll end up doing something to get herself hauled away in handcuffs."

So tru. Let her karma unfold unimpeded.

. . . had to do with keeping unwanted guests out of a swimming pool.

Cary, please tell your story about being stoned at a funeral. Some of us love black humor.

I dated someone similar to your husband. He adopted some of my enthusiasms and I think he did not mention to anyone that I was his "portal" into those pursuits. At the time I thought it a little odd that he could have so much immediate passion for things he had not bothered with before, but then again I thought maybe I should feel validated by his mimickry. Hmm.

The other similarity is the trashing behind my back. I noticed that he had a pattern of talking disparagingly about our friends to me, and this of course made me suspect he probobly trashed me too. Then I noticed that some of our mutual acquaintances treated me oddly; these were people he spent much more time with than I did. Some of his remarks about these other people (to me) had been so bizarre that I doubted thier truth.

He had a phony smile, you know that pasted-on look. He did not seem to appreciate the difference between that and a real smile. Does your husband?

I thought Cary's speculation was well-founded. And, it turned a banal letter into a literary peek at what can be hidden by a phrase such as "drunken consensual sex."

What is with these letters from men dissing the LW for saying "Jan" is/was jealous of her? Who would know better that "Jan" was acting jealous than the person on the receiving end of this dysfunctional jealousy?

Duh.

Like "Big Brother" everpresent on large screens in the Orwellian future, to me RRR (as in "Ar Ar Ar" an ugly pirate laugh) was a big artificial persona, a giant hairsprayed and rouged claymation who was the glib "face" of the New World Odor. He was a paid spokesperson of the large corporations hungry for more power and money. (You deny this last statement? Why else was it okay with the electorate that he nodded off and suffered from dementia while still on the throne?)

This apology that he "did not completely suck" is not an apology for the man, but for the idealogy of those who hired him. And WHY ON EARTH should anyone be trying to bamboozle into admiration of RRR the folks who were wise enough not to be bamboozled by this con job in the first place??

Any why resurrect this dead guy when you can write about how we all need to assert that George W Bush is such a regular guy?

I am so gratified that you found the Tenure of Reagan "pleasant." Unfortunately I must let you know for some of us it was not so. (If you wish to hear more about this point of view, please see the other letters in this page.)

And Goebbels was a "great communicator."

History also remembers Ghengis Khan, etc, etc, etc.

Benevolent leaders are few and far between in "History."

Good god, Tennis, you got this so wrong. Obviously you have zero empathy for victims of familial predation.

You are guilt-tripping the victim for not being saintlike enough to make it all sugar and spice for everyone. "Trial by fire" my word. Why does she (or he) have to burn like a martyr? Hasn't she overcome enough?

The "forgiveness" she talked about is a contract she made, for pete's sake. She can forgo vengeance and righteous wrath, but he must do his part by not crossing her path. She has found a place of peace, which is more than many victims of childhood trauma are allowed. Now she is told this is not enough, she must somehow rise to sainthood, for her own good no less. Her brother has made her dirty and she must wash, wash, wash, never stop cleansing to remove that stain. A partial forgiveness is not good enough for Cary Tennis. Blech.

PS, she didn't mention that the brother has ever even acknowledged or apologized for his actions. Why does he even deserve her forgiveness?

Based on my experience 7" is average for length, and 6.5 is fairly common for circumference. Of course I am assuming the measurements are based on full turgidity.

(I hope all the dudes are taking this in good fun. This is something that is bound to come up over and over again.)