Letters posted here are associated with the following Salon Premium Member:

rsybuchanan

Published Letters: 2
Editor's Choice: 1

Saturday, September 27, 2008 11:36 PM
Original article: Opus

Amen on the fishnuts

Although the mental picture he painted of Pat Buchanan wearing peek-a-boo underpants from Fredericks of Hollywood has haunted me for two decades now. I still wake up in a cold sweat sometimes.

Friday, June 15, 2007 08:46 PM

Because if they're going to play music aloud, someone has to pick it

I don't know about other gyms, but at my gym crappy techno would be a mercy. At least it provides a baseline of minimally acceptable noise at an acceptable volume.

The mornings at my gym usually play out something like this:

0600: The grown ups all show up, and whoever gets to the stereo first puts on either NPR or classic rock at a reasonable volume.

0700: The second shift shows up, and this includes a large number of male wannabe corporate ninjas in their mid-20s who just walk over to the stereo in reception without so much as a by-your-leave and switch it to some station that plays what purports to be rock music these days, at TOP FREAKING VOLUME.

0701: Someone who is fully past puberty will turn the volume back down.

0702: The lunkheads turn the volume back up and holler obscenities because "woo, dude, I am pumped" or something. I'm not sure they actually have a reason.

0704: Nancy, a college librarian and grandmother of six who is one of the early shift regulars, rips the power cord out of the stereo and threatens to strangle the junior partners with it if they assault her eardrums one more time.

0706: Violence ensues, the frightened staff baricade themselves in the trainer's office.

0710: Total breakdown of society. Cats and dogs living together.

0720: Shower.

The crappy techno would be nice. It'd save on hurt feelings, sore eardrums and broken bones.

Most Active Letters Threads

405

I'm thankful I'm not President Obama

Backers deride Katrina-style negligence, haters hate him more each day. Can this presidency be saved? Of course
323

Tough-guy John Bolton, hiding under his bed

As usual, right-wing pseudo-warriors are drowning in extreme cowardice.
320

Greg Craig and Obama's worsening civil liberties record

A new Time account of the fall of Obama's White House counsel sheds much light on rule of law issues.
230

A key British official reminds us of the forgotten anthrax attack

A vast array of establishment and expert sources do not believe this episode was really resolved.
154

Phil Carter's resignation from key detainee policy post

Many of the "War on Terror" policies he spent years condemning were ones expressly embraced by Obama.

View all »

Letters Help

Currently in Salon