This is a very interesting article by TCF. It doesn't seem that she has done anything scandalous... just had a few hookups on the way to what is probably the first of a few long term relationships... which is the usual trajectory for a young, semi-attractive to attractive woman in the big city.

One of the things TCF fails to understand is that casual sex is easy for women ~ once they get past the labelling (which any self interested man would stay away from)... Women and Gay People - are offered sex all the time!

As a Straight SBM, I have engaged in a lot of casual sex... some would say I have intimacy issues but my entire view has been shaped by the fact - at least for a while in their youth- women hold the chips in the heterosexual mating game.

And as another commenter mentioned, the sexual power imbalance does end up leaving many men, angry frustrated and misogynistic - sometimes you can even throw homophobic anger

into that mix...

Ask any straight guy and he will tell you - you're always paying for it ... one way or another, and for some guys - that takes a toll.

With all that said, I do think everyone needs to go through a phase of casual relationships... however the hypocritical/mysoginist/jealous barstard in me would rather not hear about it when its time to settle down in a serious relationship....

And the worst thing is - I know this is not the healthiest attitude to have... but I am not sure that I know how to change it, because the only experience I know is one where I am always working for sex as a goal... not one where it happens, out of the blue.

Cary's advice is wrong.

It's over. As many readers have mentioned... there is a high possibility she is already seeing/sleeping with someone else.

Either way, the lack of sex and the verbal hints would indicate that you are on the outs....

So. Man up. Accept that it is over. Go on a bender or two.

I am 26... just like you. But I am very focused on my career and having fun... in addition I live in NYC - where dating is a blood sport... so I do have a few observations.

You need to be alone for a while. Take care of yourself. Know what you want, learn what pleases you and how to go out and get it.

Understand that the most valuable commodity in the dating world is a young attractive woman... and by virtue of this fact... young women are heady with all of the sexual currency and power they have. This is not a pleasant fact of life but it is a constant.

Date older women. You are young fresh and full of stamina, they are more experienced and hopefully not looking for anything serious. You gain experience without most of the head games... and their "skills" in other areas tend to be finely honed as well.

Build yourself up. Work on your career and hobbies and make yourself a success (however you define that) in time; as you get older; while women will always remain a mystery, they will get easier to read; and hopefully, as a result you will get what you want.

Despite my venting - there is a simple solution.

If you meet a size queen, and you do not meet their requirements... move on... accept it - enjoy the experience - if you can, and move on.

However i will maintain that since women do not have to "work" for sex; they really do not understand how this affects some male psyches.

Oh well. Some peoples ideal measurements are 8 inches or above - others are 125lbs or less... it is what it is.

Unfortunately while I can study, work out dramatically, eat and dress better - there is nothing I can do to take my 7incher to a glorious 8 or niner.

it is weird though that science hasn't come up with a solution - the day they do... those doctors and the pharmaceutical company that backs them will all become billionaires.

And no, for some guys it is a fucking big deal - because there is nothing you can do to change it and you had no say in what you get.... unlike chicks who can lose weight, get lipo, or implants or surgery.

Women don’t want to hear this and certainly don’t want to believe it… but a lot more men are capable of killing over infidelity than they let on. She just happened to be married to a man who walked the walk.

Any man knows that this can happen, if you don’t – you’re a fool. It is one of the risks you take when you mess around with a married woman.

In this modern era, some would hope that people don’t take these things personally but a lot of people do.

And if they have a gun handy… it can turn into a very very bad situation.