Brightstar,

I know the name of the game. And you don't necessarily even need to talk to a Pick Up Artist to learn the game; even though that helps. What I am saying is that - for a straight guy; getting sex is always work of one kind or another...

I learned the hard way by entering into a "competition" with a chica as a young 23 year old. She beat me handily... but guess what ... she's pushing 30 and now "only does serious relationships".

The only way to even the table in the free for all that is modern dating as a guy who is out to get his is to stay single, stay fit and engage the world (it doesn't hurt to have a fat bank account either)... but sometimes, even then, it's not guaranteed. There's an urban legend here in NYC about a night when Derek Jeter got denied.

Derek fu**in' Jeter!

OK. I'll stop now...

We are speaking different languages.

Thank you for the kind words and I was venting a bit.

I have lived in NYC for 5 years and I have done pretty well... however I was just lamenting the fact that as a straight man - you are on the lowest end of the sexual totem pole - and it is always some form of social kabuki to get laid.

Gay/Bi people and straight women do not have to deal with this.

Only your average straight chump - unless he gets the game quickly.

However you don't understand that ... because while there is a man for every woman - be they a chubby chaser or fetishist.

There is not a woman for every man... and women loooove to throw that in our faces...

Oh and I don't use love to get sex. Unlike many of my nyc brethren who think the best way to put up numbers is to have a girl friend and fuck around on the side.

Oh well. The game goes on...

And it is a pretty sad world where Derek Jeter gets fucking denied... sad sad world.

Women don’t want to hear this and certainly don’t want to believe it… but a lot more men are capable of killing over infidelity than they let on. She just happened to be married to a man who walked the walk.

Any man knows that this can happen, if you don’t – you’re a fool. It is one of the risks you take when you mess around with a married woman.

In this modern era, some would hope that people don’t take these things personally but a lot of people do.

And if they have a gun handy… it can turn into a very very bad situation.

Unfortunately while I can study, work out dramatically, eat and dress better - there is nothing I can do to take my 7incher to a glorious 8 or niner.

it is weird though that science hasn't come up with a solution - the day they do... those doctors and the pharmaceutical company that backs them will all become billionaires.

And no, for some guys it is a fucking big deal - because there is nothing you can do to change it and you had no say in what you get.... unlike chicks who can lose weight, get lipo, or implants or surgery.

Despite my venting - there is a simple solution.

If you meet a size queen, and you do not meet their requirements... move on... accept it - enjoy the experience - if you can, and move on.

However i will maintain that since women do not have to "work" for sex; they really do not understand how this affects some male psyches.

Oh well. Some peoples ideal measurements are 8 inches or above - others are 125lbs or less... it is what it is.

Cary's advice is wrong.

It's over. As many readers have mentioned... there is a high possibility she is already seeing/sleeping with someone else.

Either way, the lack of sex and the verbal hints would indicate that you are on the outs....

So. Man up. Accept that it is over. Go on a bender or two.

I am 26... just like you. But I am very focused on my career and having fun... in addition I live in NYC - where dating is a blood sport... so I do have a few observations.

You need to be alone for a while. Take care of yourself. Know what you want, learn what pleases you and how to go out and get it.

Understand that the most valuable commodity in the dating world is a young attractive woman... and by virtue of this fact... young women are heady with all of the sexual currency and power they have. This is not a pleasant fact of life but it is a constant.

Date older women. You are young fresh and full of stamina, they are more experienced and hopefully not looking for anything serious. You gain experience without most of the head games... and their "skills" in other areas tend to be finely honed as well.

Build yourself up. Work on your career and hobbies and make yourself a success (however you define that) in time; as you get older; while women will always remain a mystery, they will get easier to read; and hopefully, as a result you will get what you want.