Letters to the Editor

• Difference is that..

  [Read the article: The art of the pickup]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  I think the difference between flirting and trickery is that the flirt wants to draw the attention of a potential partner, for mutual pleasure and the possibly of something more (like a relationship) and the trickster simply wants to "fool" a woman, presumably a woman who is "out of their league", into a one-night stand sort of situation. I believe that is why Ms. Price and some other female posters find this behavior sleazy and not charming.

  Anyways, the "techniques" in these books (which are very old hat, I recall stuff like this being marketed in the 60s, "How to Pick Up Girls", I think it was called) are only of use to youngish people and even then, only in clubs or bars. They are stupid and even conterproductive when used in ordinary meeting places like work, the park, grocery store, church, friend's houses, etc., because they are instantly seen (without the crutch of alcohol or drugs) as the dumbass manipulations they obviously are. This goes ditto, BTW, for the female versions of this like "The Rules".

  The only way to "get" a nice, kind, faithful, loving, respectful, loyal, intelligent partner is....to be nice, kind, faithful, loving, respectful, loyal and intelligent yourself. Male or female. DUH.

  Also: I think it is well established that most all of us form a judgement about the attractiveness of a potential mate in about 30 seconds. (Once people pass the 30 second approval, of course, there are a whole bunch of other gates to jump over.) We each have a kind of inborn pattern for what we feel is "attractive enough" and if someone falls short of this, nothing on earth -- no come-on line, insult or compliment -- will overcome our boundaries, unless we are seriously drunk or high. (Trolls: hint, this is why you never get laid by any sober woman.) Even then, we quickly "course-correct" when we wake up the next morning and discover our ghastly mistake.

  Proof? Trolls: would anthing on god's green earth make you sleep with a fat, fugly, 40ish woman with hairy legs (short of total inebriation/insanity)? Of course nothing would! You'd take a quick mental snapshot, and dismiss the offending party as "unfuckable". It wouldn't matter whether she gave you cute, flirty insults or touched your arm or acted all distant or pulled her shirt up and flashed you. NOTHING would matter, because you looked at her and immediately dismissed her.

  So....brilliant brain analysis here...it works exactly the same for women. We know pretty darn much what we like and don't like, and if we are reasonably sober, we run like hell from hateful, nerdy trolls like you.

  End of story.

  Permalink Thursday, August 2, 2007 08:01 AM