Letters to the Editor
Laurel962
Published Letters: 486 Editor's Choice: 37
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$138,000 a year? Sez who?
[Read the article: Are you being mommified?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I have read this figure, or ones close to it, for decades, and even though I am strongly feminist, this is ridiculous. Child care and housekeeping are among the most poorly paid professions, and frequently done by uneducated, non-English speaking illegal immigrants, for god's sake.
I had a close friend with a six-figure income and long hours, and she had an actual nanny to care for her two kids when they were little. The nanny worked from 6AM until 10PM, six days a week and sometimes longer. If my friend had to travel for business, the nanny lived in. She did everything a stay-at-home mom would have done, cooked all the meals, did light cleaning, diapered and potty trained the kids and so on.
What did she earn for this round-the-clock job? $6.75 an hour, with no time-and-a-half for overtime. I imagine she got all the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches she wanted, though.
The reality is that motherhood is badly paid, HARD WORK and generally the only way you can get women (and a few men)to do it is out of sheer love and devotion to their children.
Or you can exploit some illegal aliens, for pennies, because they are desperate.
But no way, no how, does it ever pay $138,000 a year, or anything like it, unless you are putting some bizarre value on "sexual services", which makes parenting sound awfully like prostitution, only way less fun.
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How different is it really in the US?
[Read the article: China's single women not worthy of sex ed?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I wish I could say we were different, or better at this, but we aren't.
I know an awful lot of women -- white, middle class, educated, over 21 -- who do not use effective birth control because they can't accept themselves as sexual being, or take responsibility for what they are going to do, anyhow.
Our culture tells women a lot of wildly contradictory things -- "being gorgeous and sexy ... but don't be a slut!" Many adult women of my acquaintance feel that to, say, be on the pill when they are not currently in a relationship is slutty (not to mention, expensive). So they aren't on any BC....then they meet someone, and decide to have sex very quickly, in a date or two, or even in a couple of hours. Of course, then they don't have effective BC and must rely on condoms, foam or withdrawal. No surprise that many unplanned pregnancies result from this.
The reality is that you don't meet Mr. Right, start a nice relationship, call up your OB-GYN, schedule an appointment (my OB usually requires a six week wait, unless it is a medical emergency!!!), get a prescription and then wait 4-5 weeks for the pill to become effective...then have intercourse. I mean, nice thought, but who does this? No one.
The intelligent alternative would be to accept yourself as a sexual being, who is going to have sex when you have the opportunity and partner, and be on BC in anticpation of this. But...then all that bad cultural bullshit about being a slut kicks in. You are supposed to act like a semi-virgin, who is always surprised by the fact you end up in bed with someone!
And condoms? I read a recent, in-depth study that showed that most men who use them don't use them properly, resulting in failure rates that are MUCH higher than what is normally quoted. For example, many men have intercourse without the condom, then only put it on right before they ejaculate, apparently never have heard of pre-ejaculate. I mean, duh -- but this is what is going on.
What would help? More education, more education, more education ....and in this political climate, don't hold your breath for that.
And maybe enpowering women to get rid of that stupid word "Slut" forever more! Words only have the power that we cede to them...let's take this one out of the dictionary.