Letters to the Editor

• What do you say?

  [Read the article: Is my 13-year-old son gay?]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  You say "No". You have no control or say so over your child's EVENTUAL sexual orientation, but you do as a parent have an obligation to set reasonable rules for behavior in your home and on your computer -- even more so, in this situation, because there are younger children around.

  I presume the LW doesn't leave his own porn laying around for his minor children to read! that he hides it or blocks it in some way. I think it is absurd to teach a 13 year old how to hide what he is doing online and VERY dangerous -- what if the next step is to a chatroom where he is chatting with a dangerous adult predator? Do you want him to be cleverly hiding THAT as well?

  Will 13 year old boys still find some way to look at porn? Probably yes. But they need to know that it is not approved by their parents, that it is not permitted in the home, and they probably need to hear (along with a good grounding in basic sex education) about how and why porn is wrong -- not because human sexuality is bad or dirty, but because the billion-dollar porn industry uses and brutalizes actors and models to make a buck, because most of the actors/models are riddled with easily preventable STDs, because the vast majority of porn shows extremely unsafe sex without condoms (leading many gay and straight men to ask for this kind of unprotected sex) and because it eventually streams into a decadent "underworld" that includes things like underage sex slaves.

  You have every right and in fact an OBLIGATION to let your son know this before he becomes another (possible) male porn addict, so overstimulated by artificial images that he barely recognizes a human, flesh and blood, individual as someone he can actually (in good time) have a sexual relationship with, instead of a steady stream of empty, exploitive images.

  You wouldn't let your 13 year old drive your car, would you? Even if he really, really wanted to? And if he snuck out at night and drove it around, you'd be mad and you'd do something like ground him in punishment. I don't think this is any different -- it's an inappropriate behavior, he's too young to be doing it, it could potentially be damaging and so forth.

  Please note that none of this has anything to do with whether or not the LWs son MIGHT (or MIGHT NOT) be gay. I don't think that is relevant. I believe that homosexuality is something hardwire into the brain at or before birth -- if he is going to be gay, well he is and nothing you can do about that but love and accept him for who he is. But you don't have to accept ANY child, gay or straight, using a home computer to bring pornography into your home, and possibly into view by your other children.

  Just say NO. I worry more about the kind of moronic, PC parenting, where adults are too afraid to appear "homophobic" to take a firm stand about what they will or will not permit in their homes. It is NOT homophobic to tell a minor child that he can't bring pornography into your home!!!!

  Permalink Monday, April 9, 2007 08:57 AM