Letters to the Editor
Afro Goddess
Published Letters: 178 Editor's Choice: 22
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LW, are you stupid?
[Read the article: I'm living in filth!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Get the carpet replaced, but after you figure out the pet situation.
First, get rid of your pets. I can stand a mess, but I hate filthy folks. There's not taking out the trash right away, and then there's whatever comes with ill-trailed and just plain ill pets.
If you can't train or adequately clean up after your pets, you shouldn't have them. That's almost animal abuse that they have to walk on filty carpet b/c you are too much of a moron to figure out how to clean. No one is born knowing how to clean, but every makes it a priorty to learn.
I don't pity you. If you don't know how to clean, then learn. Pick up a book, call a cleaning service and have them come in. It doesn't cost thousands. It may cost hundreds.
How embarrassing for you that despite all the trauma you and your husband have gone through, you are some nasty @ss individuals who are using your pets as an excuse to not clean up!
And then you write a letter asking for help?! You can read and write but you can't clean? Yet another case of being so smart that you're stupid.
SHAME ON YOU!
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You're only as guilty as you feel...
[Read the article: I did a vagina monologue but didn't tell my husband!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I think LW should tell her husband about her activities because she married him and therefore decide to share her life with him. And clearly its worrying her because she wrote to a stranger for advice.
She in effect is regressing by not telling him. She's not telling him to avoid his disapproval in the way that a child or teenager might. Although he might disapprove, she should be able to tell him these things because she is excited about something and wants to share it. If he has an opinion, that's fine and his right. But if he makes a dictate about her life and she follows his views, then she needs to work on acting like his wife and not his kid.
She's only making the situation worse by falling into that dynamic of hiding things from him about herself that she doesn't think he'll like. She undermines herself and negates her own strength by ducking and dodging her husband.
If she can't be her real self (good and bad) with him, the why is she married to him in the first place?
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LW, no more school for you!
[Read the article: Of Ph.D.s, gay lovers, slave narratives and the Ivy League]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm sorry but I don't think you should get your Ph.D. unless you know exactly what you're going to do with it.
Also, you can't major in English and expect to make decent money unless you have a plan. I have a couple of friends who did that and they are making nice money in fields that have nothing to do with what they majored in.
I've got to say that I get the impression that you're a Foolish Intellectual; smart enough to talk the talk, but not enough to do anything in the real world with it. Also I think that you love to be flattered and want to feel special so badly that you're rushing down a path with no real plan beyond keeping up with the academic Joneses.
Based on your money comments I'll guess that you aren't coming from wealth. Therefore it would behoove you to be just a tad more realistic, instead of running off to study slave narratives and 19th century literature, unless of course you figure you're going to write some big deal book that covers new territory on the subject.
Either come up with a realistic plan that shows how exactly the additional education will lead to a self-sustaining career or enter another field that will take advantage of the writing and other skills you have.
Good luck!
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I'm siding with the BF who isn't all keyed up over yo @ss!
[Read the article: My boyfriend won't give me his apartment key]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]So, I'm siding with the boyfriend.
Everyone needs their space and has the right to define what they will and won't share of themselves and their life.
LW, this is BF's apartment, not yours. Just b/c you're quick and easy with moving your stuff into his place, doesn't mean that he should be inconvenienced by your choice. Is his stuff at your place? No.
Does he want to live with you? No! But I don't think you're getting that fact. He wants you to have a place of your own. He only wants to share his space with you when he's around. Just because you make yourself available to him way more than you should doesn't mean he owes you a key. As a woman, I understand where you're coming from. But, I don't agree with it. He might enjoy the benefits of cohabitation, but you are choosing to live inconveniently.
The reality is that you're not stressing b/c you don't want to be the bag lady. You're stressing because the key represents his unwillingness to be vunerable with you. Its not even about trust. He's just not ready to have you all up in his business w/o his permission. If you can't deal with that, then you need to step on (not bitch about it).
Solution: Stop bitching about the key, and stop inconveniencing yourself. After sex, go home! You date him, not live with him! Don't have essentials at his place.
Maybe you didn't know this but you are supposed to get the key first, then leave the essentials (toothbrush, tees, and jeans don't count). I know, I know, they didn't teach you this on Sex and the City, but that's how it works. I've gotten keys, so believe me!
If you don't want to be treated like a puppy, then don't act like one. If you pulled away, then you shouldn't have come back without getting the key! You did it to force his hand (and key) and it didn't work. Don't see his @ss so often. You're barking up the wrong key when you figure nagging him will suddenly garner different results. So stop! Then you'll have time to meet some dude who all keyed up when you aren't around.