Letters to the Editor
Afro Goddess
Published Letters: 178 Editor's Choice: 22
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You would be an @sshole of a son if you don't go...
[Read the article: I can't get home to see my mom before she dies]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I think that you're subconsciously trying to keep your mother alive by not going to her bedside before she dies. There is no amount of money in the world, no threat of eviction, not temporary job that would keep me away from my mother if she were on her deathbed. Those are the excuses you use not to have to face her death.
My father passed the day I was traveling by bus back to the city in which I live. The night before, he was at the bus stop to see me off. If he hadn't convinced me to visit for Thanksgiving maybe things would have been different, or maybe he would have died without me seeing him one more time.
It doesn't hurt any less if you show up after the fact. You don't get to avoid the messy stuff. It just makes it all the worse. I wish that even as my father died in the car on the way to the hospital that I'd been there. The lifeless body I saw in the hospital when I returned was not him. All his humor and stories and boisterousness were gone. I would rather have seen him off than stand in the parking lot after his bus had long departed.
If you don't go, you’re an @sshole. It’s plain and simple. Your apartment isn't worth it, your job isn't worth it, and your mother is more than worth whatever the heck you need to do so that she finds comfort in your presence as she dies.
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You never jumped back on the horse...
[Read the article: I was betrayed by people I trusted]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I think that the reason you, LW, couldn't get beyond the deep sick, icky pain of betrayal is 1. because you believe what they said was true, and 2. now you feel like an untouchable.
Sometimes people look and judge and stamp you with their versions of who you are. And even if some of it is true, some of it isn't.
But instead of deciding who you wanted to be, you took their version of you and ran with it. Maybe you felt that doing so was being honest and strong with yourself. Maybe you've always felt like a bit of an outsider and university was supposed to make up for that. You figure that if a "cool" group of folks found you wanting that, then its your job to accept it.But the thing is if you decide to adhere to someone else's reality of you, don't expect to fare well in their estimation."
Not to be a bitch when I say this, but LW, its easier to cater to others' low opinions. But I have a feeling that you're getting sick of sitting in all that emotional muck.
Here's your out: Decide who you want to be, then work towards being that. If you feel that you're unattractive, then find an image consultant and ask them what you can do to look your best. If you can't afford one, call one up anyway, see if you can get a discount, then save up for a couple of sessions. If you don't have a good job that will even allow you to save, then start looking for another one. Its not easy, but start looking and moving.
Look outside of your box. We always think that a job and a life has to be a certain thing, but it doesn't. Maybe you can find a job through your school? Maybe you can become a store clerk somewhere interesting? Find a job that forces you to push your hair back and deal with people on a regular basis. It will get old after a while, but one year is all you need to step out of your shell.
You have to live the life you want. If you do, a year from now you'll be proud, not self-pitying. No, you'll never forget how badly those people treated you, but then what they've said won't be the beginning and ending of who you are. If you live in their world (Facebook and picking your ex-boyfriend's brain over this), then how can you live a better one of your making?
Living well is the best revenge.
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The Case for Being Too Blessed...
[Read the article: I'm an interesting, talented artist but I can't take the rejection!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]LW is so blessed he's stressed.
WTHell? "I'm very successful and I'm a gifted artist, but when I don't get EVERY FREAKIN' THING I WANT I feel rejected."
Get in line! There are those of us who have to deal with constant rejection without the safety net of financial security to comfort us.
If you are too weak hearted to deal with the realities of rejection, then you don't really deserve the blessings you have. And when your work is WAIT-LISTED, you want your reaction to rejection to be a certain way?
Are you a control freak or what?
I've struggled and struggled to figure out what I'm meant to do, what I'm good at, how to be passionate about something and feed my soul (as well as my belly). I don't pity you. You make me sick, LW. Everyone has their trials and tribulations, but your self-pity takes the cake.
Its such a shame. You have to live under the weight of success. Woe is you!