LW, I'm sorry, but there's no way that I'd leave my friends hanging out like you are doing, for as long as you have, unless you really don't want to help them.

Maybe the real question you should be asking Cary is, "Is it wrong that I don't want to help my friends when they come to me asking for advice?"

If they are close friends, then telling them the truth is a requirement of being their friend. And what you have to say to them isn't that hard.

Friend 1: You need to stop acting stuck up and let guys know you are interested. Stop being scared.

Friend 2: Chick, you aren't all that yourself. Stop being desperate for marriage, and superficial about these men. Everyone has flaws and if you can't get beyond that you will be alone and embarrassed. Stop being scared.

You tell friends when they are messing up. If you can't, then maybe they (or you) aren't really friends.

Peace!

Unless you are under 25 years old, there's no excuse for not recognizing that this is part of the price of receiving a paycheck.

Build a bridge and get over him. Close your door, play some music, get a water fountain (the kind with all the stones that requires purified water and only lasts a year).

But don't get in his face. You won't win, and this is the wrong job market to think that your guts will get you glory. It will make you a pariah with no future at that firm.

What's worse, his loud mouth or no job?

I totally agree with you. :)

While to some degree I agree with you regarding Chris Rock, the reality is that the way White women distress about their looks doesn't have the same socio-racial complexity that Black women do.

For example, you are dark and your sister is light. When she distresses about her skin, its because she feels that her skin is too dry. When you distress about your skin, its because you've been made to feel that your dark skin is not attractive, therefore you are unattractive and that you are not as attractive or as worthy as your sister.

That's a heck of a lot more than just ashy skin!

As a Black person, its always interesting to see that an afro, Black shoe polish, gloves, and dancing is how you view me. Either that, or you're doing that pimp/hoe thing.

If I had a mind to I would run around in white bed sheets, waving a noose with a White dummy hanging from it. Or I'd dress up like a White serial killer (how do they look I wonder?), 'cause the obvious stereotype is that you all are psychopaths. Or better yet, do the whole White Devil thing.

But then I'm way more racially sensitive than that, and I have White friends whom I respect a lot, and goodness knows I have better things to do with my time than be racist and use ignorance or humor as an excuse.

:)

The reality is that all women will do something to their hair to improve it. If you have straight hair, you want it curly. If you have the most popular shade of blonde hair, at some point you'll go red or brown "to be taken seriously". Today, beautification is often painful, excessive, or both. Makeup is no longer enough.

The difference between beauty ennui and the African-American obsession with augmenting their natural hair is that many of us are intrinsically ashamed of our natural hair (our natural selves?). It isn't just about having variety or improvement. There are Black women who right now are trapped by this concept of Black beauty being tied to how straight the hair can be (just like in the past its been about how light our skin can be and how straight our noses can be).

These women believe that they have no choice but to subject themselves to this sadomasochistic beauty ritual. There is the fear of the unknown regarding their natural selves. I know Black women who haven't touched more than a nail tip of their own kinky hair.

And despite what I've seen in the press, there is a link between our beauty rituals and the European standards of beauty. No, if you ask a Black woman if she wants to look or be White she'll negatively respond. But natural hair for many Black folks is too Black to be acceptable by American culture. It was only a few years ago when Black women could wear braids while in their workplace.

What many women will say is that they perm to make their hair more manageable. That is the new politcally correct excuse. Once upon a time Black women straightened their hair to be more acceptable looking to Whites, but these days hair straightening is such a historic tradition that some Black women don't know why they continue to do something that they hate.

The reality is that burning chemicals aren't neccessary to manage our hair. There are plenty of products that allow me to keep my natural hair healthy, soft, sweet smelling, and manageable.

Nevertheless, the dynamics and politics of African American beauty, and hair specifically, is such a big topic among African Americans that I'm actually proud of Chris Rock for tackling the subject in a light, educational, and humorous way.

I can't wait to see the film.

Watch more here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCXvR0WpAuI