Letters to the Editor
momof2
Published Letters: 59 Editor's Choice: 2
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@E
[Read the article: And baby makes two]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"The author is still in the 'honeymoon' period... parenthood gets harder and harder the older a child grows. 15 months hardly seems to be the point at which to roll out a "Mission Accomplished" banner."
Um, the first 15 months are a "honeymoon period"? Someone forgot to tell my two daughters that news. I hardly call round the clock feedings, spit up, poopy diapers, sore nipples, mastitis, PPD, tantrums, choking scares (should i go on?) a "honeymoon period".
Each one of child's developmental stages presents its own challenges and rewards. Parenthood is hard from that first bout of morning sickness up through each missed curvew/ teenage temper tantrum and beyond.
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@Sean SIberio
[Read the article: Britain in "moral collapse" over rape?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Really? All those situations are rape?
Sorry, as a woman, I think that's really pushing the definition of rape. If a woman can't say no because of a compromised emotional situation, that means she needs to learn to buck up and say no when she means no.
If she's making moves to have sex, but she really doesn't want to, why is the man expected to read her mind? Same goes with flirtation. If a woman isn't interested, don't flirt.
Don't say yes when you really mean no.
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@Brightstar
[Read the article: I left an abusive marriage, and now I'm in love with a thief]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Oh, brightstar. Would that the world would only listen to your perfect wisdom! What a world it would be...
So which is it: women are manipulative cunning bitches forever denying you your right to unlimited sex or incurable imbeciles who are blinded to your burning manhood? You can't have it both ways.
And it's so fascinating how everyone's problems are really only about you.
I guess your first post didn't hijack the thread, so you're trying again. Do you not get enough attention in real life that you so desperately seek it on these threads?
[sorry to everyone else for feeding the troll. I can't help it!]
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A tad too much narcissism
[Read the article: The baby I turned away]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I have to agree with the previous letters that mentioned the author's narcissism. Picking India because you "romanticized" the country already? Because you like their food and fashion sense? You're talking about bringing another human into your heart and your family, not writing a novel or short story.
(And I really have to agree about the mention of the ancient Indian Jewish community. Does the author think only real Jews come from Scarsdale?)
So it is probably best that she managed the biological route rather than the adoption route. Since there are no guarantees on even the healthiest babies you can bring home from abroad, and who knows how you would have deal with the myriad possible developmental/ genetic issues that could pop up down the line.
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@melthough
[Read the article: The baby I turned away]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Re: Romanticism as literary device. Yes, I would agree with you if she were writing a fictional short story about a couple going through a difficult international adoption. Since she's writing a personal essay, this literary device just turns into an ugly personality trait.
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I hate to burst the romantic bubble
[Read the article: Trading preschool for passports]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]But kids like nothing more than boring old "routine". They don't have that adult need for change and excitement. They may like being in a new place for 2-3 weeks. But moving to different places all year? Sounds like a nightmare for a kid's POV.
Amanda's bored with her kids at home? Take them out- go to the zoo, go to museums, spend an afternoon with friends you don't see much.
My guess is that Amanda is projecting onto her kids that they miss her; or the daycare is inadequate, in which case, find a better daycare. Either way, I agree with the previous poster that a lot could be fixed from within- attitude change, better planning and scheduling, maybe pick up a few books on activity ideas with your kids.
Traveling with small children- sounds romantic and free- but kids get really sick of it after 2-3 weeks. Most kids just like home.
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Taking yourself seriously
[Read the article: I get grossed out when I hear, "I'm a mom!"]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"she makes the point that the antidote to women losing their identities as adult human beings (and becoming just mommies / housewives) is to take your work seriously. "
I actually have a friend who is a SAHM with 3 kids under the age of 5. She used to have a lot of home help and then she didn't want to deal with strangers in her house anymore.
She does everything now and she pays herself a salary and pension. It makes her feel wonderful about herself and makes her much more motivated about her work.
Something to consider...
Myself, I work from home and live abroad where reasonably priced, quality childcare exists and is actually the norm for small children. (most kids here start some kind of childcare framework at 18 mos, because most women work.) I have the best of both worlds, stimulating adult work and being there for my kids. Don't discount the possibility that you can find some kind of work compromise that is economically feasible. Even if it's not tremendously economically feasible (ie, the work only pays for childcare) you and your child might be much happier with that arrangement (horrors! a child who doesn't want to be with his mom 24 hours a day!!! yes, it happened to me, with my first)
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I agree with alpha mom addendum
[Read the article: Should I move back to Wisconsin because my mother has cancer?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The LW doesn't need to sell her home and uproot her entire universe. What's wrong with renting a small place for what seems like at the most 1 year, possibly less?
Unless there are mitigating work circumstances, this seems like the best way. Her husband can even commute, if possible, or come out for long weekends, etc.
I also agree that she won't ever regret the time spent with her mom.
LW, wishing you all the best. It sounds like a tough road ahead. I hope you find the solution that works best for you.
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Skeptical Anon 11:01
[Read the article: How does a single father ever get laid?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]That movie trailer was really perfect! I was actually able to hear the movie trailer voice man narrating and saw all the scenes.
Great!