Your doing the humorist-as-lovable-curmudgeon thing. But I read the article and wish you had had a vasectomy years ago. Hope your kids decide they care about the big things, like attending your funeral, while not being concerned about the tedious little things, like wishing you a Happy Father's Day every year. You know the old Wayne's World "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!"? Well, kneel to your new sons and repeat, ad infinitum.

This article's so phony, it even fudges on the date. It reads "June 17, 2007," which would be Father's Day, of course. Excepted it wasn't written then, and was in fact posted the day before, sometime in the afternoon.

The quote I gave did demonstrate it ("Way to a man's heart..."). Let's not forget who mostly takes Home Ec in high school: girls. Let's not miss that most men still don't go in for cooking and tend to live like slobs until they have a live-in girlfriend or wife. Despite the fact that there are no reasons these days for such tasks to be divided up along the lines of gender. The real life example AKA Smith gave about her daughter in preschool is a perfect example.

Whatever. Enjoy your anger. Feel confident that you see things as they are, though your vision is upside down and backwords. It don't worry me, as they sing in the movie Nashville.

I don't consider women victims. Never painted them as such. I don't think men are out to get them. I think a division of tasks that once made sense has now become a relic. In spite of it being a relic, many people still think of domestic chores as women's work (a very, very common phenomenom, and popular culture continues to paint it this way).

You're wrong. You don't see it. You won't. You must be very happy. But you're wrong.

And I've wasted enough time on you. Continue talking to yourself, if you must, but I won't be responding.

Are people paying attention to that?

Plus, she really offends with that "sectarian civil war" crap, which is most decidedly not what's going on there.

Thank you, Ann Bauer, for having the courage to write it.

If she laughs, she laughs. It might be a terrible match for you, but that's about all that can be said. Maybe it will change when she acclimates herself, but there's a 50/50 chance it won't. Can you put in for assistants to be transferred? Or can they? If so, after you've given this some time, you could suggest "Boss X seems to fit your personality better than I do."

But everyone is right that trying to tell her "Don't laugh so much" won't help anything. The mentoring might. Once she feels you've taken her under your wing, she might be more open to suggestions about how her behavior reads.

Personally, I get why this is annoying, and that while some people will have a knee-jerk "Snob. You have an assitant? Where are the letter writers with 'real' problems?" response, the fact is you do have one, you need one who helps you rather than aggrivates you, and if it's a poor match that's going to be very grating.

But try to find a positive solution. Which, in fact, seems to be what you're looking for.

not that everyone did, or will.

Look at the difference. Studying classical guitar was something you wanted to do. You’re choice. And you had an innate talent for it. A personal situation blocked your growth, and your regret makes perfect sense. She, on the other hand, was pushed at age five, for goodness sake, into dance and piano, neither of which we can demonatrate she had aptitude for, or interest in. She might even have allowed herself to become physically maimed to stop one of them. And let’s not forget, LW isn’t saying “I sensed a young musician in my child, and wanted to see her blossom.” She seems to have an issue with discipline and long, determined career paths. Notice the child has (and is probably forced to make ) straight A’s as well as take on an exhausting extracurricular load.

I read

When she dislocated a knee around the time she would have been moving on to pointe shoes, we took it as a sign that we had no other choice but to stop pushing in that area. Although she complained about taking ballet, I felt it was my responsibility to provide the motivation and continuity early on.

And I nearly cry. Oh, that was a SIGN was it? And she’d always hated it, did she? DUH! There is no information here, even with the girl’s singing, that she loves singing, wants to persue singing. I think of all the Britney Spearses and Brooke Shieldses out there, with their desperate, pushing, “motivated” moms. All those girls in PhD programs suffering bulimia. It kills me. I hear the mom saying “She has a beautiful voice.” Well, Debbie Reynolds says the same about Carrie Fisher. But guess what, Carrie Fisher didn’t want to become a singer. She didn’t want her mom's life. She was forced into touring in musicals as a child and teenager. That lead to healthy life choices for her, didn’t it?

So please, LW and Cary, lay off this kid and her “great opportunities.” Teaching a kid or teen to follow through and learn commitment and persistance is a great thing. I’m not knocking that. What what does she care about? What are her goals or even her dreams? How about making sure she stays focussed on that?

Between school (which is very demanding even for pre-teens these days) and singing lessons, and the jobs that’s apparantly already bringing in, she has enough. Let her breath. Please.