LW,

There is an exchange going on at the bar. Do not accept drinks from strangers. You shouldn't under any circumstances, anyway, as you may fall victim to a date rape drug. Be your own woman and don't engage in the transaction. I'm not saying that anyone that accepts a drink is under obligation, but the lines stay clear if you buy your own drinks. You are not beholden to anyone and you don't put yourself at risk. You also do not have to explain yourself to anyone. The attached link is a Salon article on a young woman who had the misfortune of being drugged at a bar:

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2006/08/30/criminal/index.html

Geesh, woman, what is wrong with you? Leave this poor guy alone, quit making excuses for him, he's NOT that into you. You are making a fool of yourself and he's right to have withdrawn. Any further pressing of this issue with him and he'll likely avoid you altogether -- as he should!

Cary,

For a change, direct and sound advice. And I agree with the other readers, this man is no catch.

LW,

I just don't believe you. At best, you've spun a very one-sided tale. You say you "have a plan, but need more time." Apparently she doesn't put much stock in your "plan" and you don't care to reveal it. What, exactly, is your plan? And why isn't she on board with it? I have no doubt that if you were in medical school, or something like that with a real future, she would have no issues with your temporary inability to contribute. I've seen too many men, refusing to grow up, who put it off with "plans" and endless schooling, excuses etc. . . She obviously is not on board with your alleged plan and you are okay letting her use her money to fund your lifestyle, even though you say that you support yourself. I'm betting that she contributes more than her fair share and is tired of not having a grown up partner. And what is up with getting her a necklace when you could be actually contributing to shared goals? I'm betting that is what is behind her throwing of the necklace. I also think you've written into this forum to gather "support" and convince yourself that she is an ogre-- the better to comfort yourself when she leaves, which it sounds like she's about to do.

Finally, note to Cary: Why so self-absorbed? Just do your job; this shouldn't be about self-glorification. Sorry if you don't like the critisms leveled at you, perhaps this is not the right vocation for you, if you are so thin skinned. It's not about you.

I'm not the girlfriend. But I would love to hear from her, as well. I'm betting I'm not too far off from what she is thinking. And the writer that pointed out that there is no way that LW is actually supporting himself, as he claims, is probably dead on, also.

Although LW's girlfriend has not sought advice, my advice to her is RUN, RUN, RUN. This man is great at making excuses for himself and is trying to humiliate her in a public forum.

This should be titled: "Portrait of a Personality Disorder".

LW,

Why is it so important to you that these people like you/accept you? Most people, including everyone that has written in, would not even hesitate in never having contact with these ex-"friends". Their behavior is an abomination towards you. Your compass is way off!!!

And my two cents is that it is rude to even INVITE people to a destination wedding, it puts undue pressure on everyone to spend money they don't have, take vacation time they don't have, etc. . . all to celebrate Themselves. Very inconsiderate.

Cary,

Why does this exact same letter appear on Dear Prudence today???!!! I thought your column was legit?

Great line, Cary!! LW get off your a** and quit complaining. You'll find no sympathy here.

So, was he actually in the airspace over the U.S. at the time he was cut off? ; )