LW, I applaud you. You are 27 and want to grow up. You are unlike the LW who was a 29-year-old waitress that "wanted to sing" and lived with her parents and was whining because life had not brought her something special, yet. You are refreshing. It's okay to have outgrown your roommates, some of them probably feel like you do but haven't acted upon it. Go be mature, go do something that matters, go be a substantial person. What 20 year olds miss is that the choices that they are making RIGHT NOW send them on trajectories for their entire life. The investment in yourself, your career, your relationships will be paying off in your 40s. And your friends that stay in prolonged adolescence will not have any building blocks from which they benefit in their 40s. I suspect many of them hang onto their fratboy ways because they fear that they will be exposed as failures in a grownup world. Don't apologize for being a grown up, just go make some hard decisions, select a path, and then put one foot in front of the other until you meet your goals. You will meet plenty of interesting, intelligent women on the way. Remember-- become whomever you want to date. Like attracts like. And good for you!!!

LW, Your husband is abusive because he wants to be. No amount of your new communication skills, understanding, etc. will change the outcome. He's abusive because he likes it. It's hard to understand an abuser unless you are also one. You see, he sees the world differently from you. You are operating under a pretext-- that he shares the same goals and plays by the same rules. But that is false. He operates only to feel powerful over others. And, btw, he believes that all people operate by his rules. Therefore, he finds you to be rather foolish and just seeks ways to take advantage of your kindheartedness. It sounds like he is also taking advantage of you financially.

Unfortunately, been there, done that. Please leave. Please find out why you are so frightened of yourself that you cling onto an abuser for an identity.

Thank you Tina Fey and SNL! The flute thingy kills. I just watch it over and over again . . .

LW,

You remind me so much of someone I used to know and grew to despise. Like you, he would study one subject and work towards one degree and then quit just short of graduation. And then on to the next life plan, only to quit that one, too when not feeling "happy". He had 4 different career paths in the time that I knew him. He also moved from woman to woman trying to find one that would take care of him. After one got tired of being used, he'd moved onto the next-- this time, he assured, he was really in love! At any rate, he always stopped short of any accomplishment because, *gasp* he figured out that to do so would actually cause him to have to be responsible and people would expect him to act like an adult (once he was degreed, held a job, etc.) Of course, it was only through the use of others, such as you using your boyfriends and parents, that he was able to continue his Peter Pan nature.

You are selfish and immature and don't want the responsiblity of being an adult with adult responsibilities. Things are just not glamorous enough for the likes of you, right? You don't want a boring job like everybody else has to have, correct? You are just too special, I suppose.

The definition of maturity is doing what needs to be done even when you don't feel like it. You lack that, huh? The only way to success is to chose a path and put one foot in front of the other. And sometimes that can be boring, tedious and not fun. Many times you won't feel "happy". Stop using people and grow up. Make a plan and stick with it, day in and day out. When it's hard and not fun. Or, are you just too much of a princess? Your way, so far, has not worked. Before you know it, your looks will be gone, your ability to have children will be gone, and everyone will know that you are a loser instead of just a confused, immature young person-- because you won't be young much longer.

Btw, said former friend is 35 and still moving around, trying to find his special self, and aimless. He'll be 40 soon and there really is no turning back. He has nothing and he has accomplished nothing. Just like you.

You are not alone in your feelings. But it makes me feel better to know that the comedians struck gold with this nomiation-- Look how much fun we're having on SNL??!! It's just priceless. Take heart, lighten up, don't miss out on all the fun. Get on the inside of this joke and enjoy!

You should be gone, as well as all of your stuff, upon his return. And not speak with him again. And, the way it will likely turn out is that he will come begging for you to come back because she was not all that he imagined her to be. DO NOT GO BACK. This man is wholly uncommitted to you and was never interested in any commitment. He should not even have been conversing at this level with her on Myspace. He would not dare make these arrangements if he were your real boyfriend and you should not even have to tell him about it, it's so obvious. MOVE OUT NOW. And then go ask yourself why you ever moved in with him when you felt reluctance to do so and knew at your core that he was uncommitted. Your mission is to find out why you are so spineless.