I'm sure Ellen Degeneres has some bitter "ex" stories to tell as well and...oh wait you haven't heard them? That's because Ellen has enough class and tact to keep her damn mouth shut! Hint, hint.

And what bug crawled up her ass anyway? Why exactly SHOULDN'T he get child support payments since she's the...er..."big star" and he was the one staying home taking care of the kid? I mean if she wanted an "equal" breadwinner, she should have dated a fellow celebrity. And let's be honest here, if this Coffee Buffoon (or whatever the Hell his name is) wanted to "gold-dig", well, he would have moved much higher on the totem pole then a nutcase starring on quickly cancelled shows.

Usually I hate when people play the "reverse discrimination" card, but I have to agree that were this a male actor complaining about giving CHILD SUPPORT payments to his "nagging lazy gold-digging skeeze of an ex-wife", then Broadsheet would crying "sexist pig!"

What I love is that this article is only a few pieces above a Gleen Greenwald post decrying Jenna Bush's recent coronation as "Queen of Today show." Because, see, welfare is wrong!

This is a good post Glenn, but a couple of points to remember:

1) Let's keep in mind that little Bushspawn is going to be working for Today, the same establishment that has such noted "reporters" as Kathie Lee Gifford. This "job" is one small step above TMZ papperazzi. Don't get me wrong, Glenn, you're LARGER point is a good one, but this is not like Jenna becoming a member of the Washington Press Corpse (Indeed, it's kind of sad to think that despite being a President's daughter, this is the best she can do, the TV equvalent of Ladies Home Journal.)

2) While I agree with you're larger point, Glenn, I have to admit that I don't think nepotism, in and of itself is always a bad thing. Yes I think giving some untalented, incompetent idiot a fancy job just because of a famous last name is ridiculous. But I think if we were honest with ourselves (yes I know. Blasphemy!) we'd admit that lots of people in our world have gotten jobs and/or oppurtunities based on "connections." I think the "same-made man" myth that we've erected needs to be deconstructed (with the irony, of course being that many of the people who perpetuate that myth are the SAME one's depend solely on connections. See the "Michael Steele/Welfare" article just a few posts above).

There's nothing particularly wrong with memoirs (I generally prefer fiction, but I've read some pretty intriguing ones.) The problem is that they allow too many uninteresting idiots to "write" one. Before you were require to have actually achieved something to be honored with the privilage. Nowadays, if you make In Touch Weekly at least twice, then boy, does HarpersCollins has a ridiculously appaling six-figure deal for you!

"The ironing is delicious" moment: do I even need to point out that this article appears around the same time that Salon decided to give 2,000 different analysises of Palin's crap book?

Wait you "can't" limit the 5,000 Palin articles that popped up on this site within the last 24 hours? Well I can't see why not. I mean mean you're just a grunt right Joan. It's not like your editor of your own news website or anything. Sheesh. Is Palin's passive-agressive whining contageous?

And no, noe one should be seriously worried about Governor MILF, any more then they should "worry" about Carrie Creamjeans or Heidi Montog or Jon Gosselin. They're all media whores. That's it.

Joan, I could have sworn that not to long ago (like yesterday) you said you were suffering from "Palin Fatigue Syndrome." Apparently you're all better now. What, were you just faking it to get out of work? Must have been one of those 24 hour bugs, eh?

From the "Oops, did she really wanna go down that road" department: I can understand criticizing Newsweek. They should have done something REALLY classy, like, say approving putting Palin in a dominatrix outfit. But then no editor of any "serious" media source would do anything as tacky as THAT, right? Sorry to "go there" Joan, but you really don't have any room to talk on this.

"Annie Oakley"? Ooh how quaint. Let's get real: Sarah Palin is totally the "Heidi Montag" of American politics (meaning that under her current career trajectory, she's about a few months away from showcasing her airbrushed cooter on Playboy. After which, Salon will have another 10,000 pointless articles analyzing how her exposed nipples mean that "she's a threat" for 2012.)

Thank you for this hilarious send-up of both the "big O" announcement, as well as Oprah-mania in general. It was highly enjoyable, Heather. Also thank you for being one of the few writers here that ISN'T talking about Sarah Palin (even though you actually had an in-context reason for doing so.) I appriciate that.

Also some advice for fellow Salonistas: With all the years she been here and all the articles she's written, readers need to realize that if they're going to follow Havrilesky's work, they're going to have to take that 10-foot pole out of their ass.