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The first thing I did after reading this piece is panic that my 7-year old can't keyboard yet, and google "learn to type children".
I've been the cheated on, oblivious wife. I'm telling you: I wish I had been told. I really, really do. I would have been devastated, but I would NOT have had a child with a man who was deceiving and disrespecting me.
I don't agree with the poster who said you should print out the personal ads and mail them--he will create some lousy excuse, and they will bond with the "someone is trying destroy us" glue.
Call her, meet with her, tell her gently and firmly. Don't keep in contact with her and prolong the drama. Give her a small shred of dignity and disappear.