Until we can get past the false premise set up by the woman haters on this thread, that men rape out of sexual frustration, we really are not going to have a productive discussion.

Here we even has a poster who uses the words "seduction" and "rape" interchangeably. Let's get this straight, "seduction" is not "rape", and seduction is not a crime unless it involves reneging on some kinds of contracts (the CEO who promised houses or medical care to the children of his targets, just to get them to sleep with him). Seduction, while sleazy, is something women should be able to avoid by keeping their heads up. Rape is forced sex. There's a difference, a difference that Amerigo et. al. have persistently failed to understand.

The false premise of blue balls rape has been disproved again and again, the fact that the women in thread are still trying, in vain, to engage it means we still have so much work to do.

yeah, really? You felt all those things?

truly?

If you did, you need to dump your girlfriend and go press charges against her.

If not, stop making fun of women who have been assaulted.

Seriously, you spend so much time posting compulsively on Broadsheet that I wonder you even have time for a job, much less a girlfriend or anything else.

Yes, it is. 100% of the time.

And "gray rape" does not exist.

Those are both facts. Live with it.

On a rape thread?

Really?

You've got a pretty damn sick sense of humor.

"Rape is not about sex" is something many, many people have been saying for just about forever. Resistance to this really simple principle is only a tired effort to prop up the rape apologists' favorite rape myths.

Google the phrase "Rape is not about sex".

It's not just me.

You cannot really frame rape as a serious crime and an assault as long as it is thought of as "whoopsie, got carried away sex". It needs to be understood as violence, first and foremost.

I do become short about it, because I know that refusing to understand this is rooted in the victim blaming culture the original two Broadsheet posts have been decrying. Amazing, then a bunch of guys come out and continue to do it in the discussion thread ad nauseum, they joke about it, they boast they are laughing at the women posters, they enjoy themselves.

There is a problem. I really don't think it's me.

It's really sad when men feel they can gleefully mock rape on a women's issues blog. More sad that such people are fairly (but thankfully, not wholly) representative.

Hope you educate yourself a little better as time goes on.

Personally, I wouldn't share a bed with a man I didn't intend to have sex with. Not because of any danger, maybe I trust him completely, but just because. It goes back to the missed signals and pissed off people the next morning and all the rest of it.

But anyway, if I were in that situation, I would push the hand away and say "no". If that ends it, fine. The "no" is clear. The guy was trying to coax me and already feels awkward about being turned down (and I'm sure this can be embarrassing for guys). Why say he assaulted me on top of that? A simple come-on via a touch is a no-harm, no-foul in my book.

But there are women, including myself, who have been fondled in other situations where it was NOT like that. I have been cornered and forcibly fondled and more than once, while abroad, people in stores and on the streets contrived to grab a breast.

I consider such incidents as assaults meant to intimidate women and put the fear of God into them, leaving the male domain (in the country I was in, the whole public) free for men. What kind of sexual satisfaction does a man get by knocking a woman backwards and grabbing her breast or sticking his hand up her butt in a bus? None, I truly believe. Eve-teasing is not a game. It is a reign of terror that is tremendously successful in keeping women indoors and preventing them from working outside the home.

There are differences but women know what they are. You will notice how the guys in this thread keep boiling everything down to, "you can't believe anything women say". Well, believe us, you can posit all the weird hypothetical situations that you want, and we will still know the difference between an assault and a flirtatious touch. Really, we do, and we don't go around screaming rape for fun (which can land us in jail BTW). Who would do that?

Oh, yes. According to the guys posting here, every woman alive has filing false rape accusations as her primary hobby after scrapbooking and men must needs live in fear of this. Right. Sorry. I forgot.