All the women you've slept with have been unequivically enthusiastic....

Congrats on that!

You have been lucky, atypical, very careful about vetting your partners, or not at all observant.

I don't know you, so i can't say which it is.

All the men I've ever slept with have fallen into the last category. Some made perfunctory postcoital inquires about my orgasm because they felt they ought to. But yup, even in relationships, that was it.

BTW women can lie and fake it, too. And they frequently do, although I don't know why.

I think sex-negative attitudes are sad, but because of being used, hurt, conditioned that way, or any combination of those factors, practically every woman I know has no positive things to say about sex, even if they can orgasm and are not puritans. Generally the consensus is that even if sex feels good, going through the wringer with men makes it not worthwhile.

And of course there is the attitude that the more you give it away the less men respect you, whereas if you withhold they might take you seriously. Men buy into this too, big time, and will say to a girl, how do you expect me to have a relationship when you put out so quickly? You must be a slut. You're good for a one night stand but not for calling back. So obviously women think they want to encourage men without actually putting out. I think this is the "dance" that Colorado is talking about. Stupid? You betcha. But you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. So you might as well opt for not contracting STDs and not sleep around. Then the guys call you a cold bitch. Oh, well.

As we can see the problem with sex is not the sex but how people treat each other. I'm glad you've missed out on all that, DurianJoe, but I don't know how you did it.

yeah, right, like men haven't been hating on women on this thread and saying they've been going without sex because they can't stand the mind games. You don't think women sit around and have the exact same conversations about guys?

Why don't you ask the MEN like Brightstar and Amerigo some really personal questions about their past histories and their childhoods?

Seriously, your "question" is rude, out of bounds, and 100% sexist. When the men make negative statements about women, you have not asked them what gives with the hate.

But you aren't really asking a question. You are basically using the old sexist trope of shutting a woman up by suggesting she's too damaged to make a fair observation. Men, of course, are held to no such standard (apologies to deering and the other male posters who have called Brightstar to the mat--there's hope yet)

I have no use for your stupid "dance". I don't call good communication "coarseness", I just call it good communication. But you can go on with the fantasy that relationships can only fly when the ground rules are left unsaid. Sorry if that's a turnoff for you. Not knowing the ground rules and not being able to talk about them because I'm supposed to be a little girl with stars in my eyes is a HUGE turnoff for ME.

Grow UP already.

and stuff your phony "concern" up your ass.

here we go again. I'm not going to do this again since I posted a lot on the previous thread. But I will say one thing to CaptCrisis:

How the fucking hell do you know what emotional trauma women who have been raped experience? Were you married to each and every one of them? Seriously, how dare you say this?

Just because they went on and had a life does NOT mean they suffered no ill effects as you claim. You just didn't see it. Because they didn't sit outside the gates of the city in sackcloth and ashes tearing out their hair does not mean they weren't affected.

You just haven't seen it, because all you can see is that they are still breathing, and therefore, in your twisted world, they're fine.

I do KNOW that rape is more than "mildly unpleasant". Anyone who has had the experience or is close to women who have knows this.

Your suggestion that devious rape counselors fabricate the trauma in the minds of the victims is also very telling.

Also you believe men are more important than women. Women shouldn't take rape seriously because being charged with rape hurts men's feelings!

You must be one piece of work.

No. You are not interested, nor do you actually want to know anything. You are doing exactly what I said you were. The questions were facetious and demeaning.

Brightstar, too, always says he is hanging out here to "learn" something. But everybody knows he's just here to stir the pot.

Oh, while we're at it, did somebody abuse you as a child? Rub your face in the sand? Since you think it's appropriate to share personal information, why don't you spill it?

Wow, did this thread ever burn up fast. There's some nasty men out there.

Look, using Parson Jim's own statistics, the rape apologists say that 3% of rape allegations are false.

That means that 97% of rape allegations are TRUE, and the great majority of rapes go unreported.

Ans YET, somehow, we are supposed to conflate the "problem" of filing false accusations with the problem of actually BEING raped.

There's no comparison if you go by even the most conservative numbers. Anyone who says so is being deliberately misleading and is a huge idiot.