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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
TinaS1
Published Letters: 780 Editor's Choice: 21
you know, I cringed when that whole thing went down the way it did, because I knew that "Duke case" was going to become the best bestest friend of people like Amerigo.
If anything, the horrors of that case, not least the text messages about how the boys wanted to skin a stripper alive, proved that these "nice" boys were very little short of monsters and, being athletes, probably DO have several rapes of drunken girls under their belts, just like your average frat boys.
It also proved the extent to which sexual violence is completely acceptable in our society. The fact that the police screwed up so badly and the case turned out to be hopeless does not mean that these "young men" were pleasant specimens at all. I would not want to be the wife of any of them, no matter how wealthy their Duke-educated white male privelege will make them.
The Duke case was complicated and the energy with which everyone went out of their way to exonerate the Lacrosse brutes was revolting. It was very weird, very sad, and the boys were far from angels. If anything it proved that false accusations of rape are indeed very rare.
I agree! Women should not be passive!
Women should only have sex with men with they specifically ask for it. When they walk up to a guy and say "let's have sex". When they have given enthusiastic consent and are clearly active participants. Only when they have chosen.
Then and only then should they be having sex.
How do you feel about that? Not what you meant to say, was it?
I'm on a side?
I guess that puts you on the side of rapists.
Nice place to be?
She was raped, she still has the tattoo on her arm (horrible)---and you say it was HER fault for going to his place of business? Oh my God, look at what you wrote. Talk about blaming the victim. Again, you seem blinded by moral contempt--tattoo parlors are seedy places so women who go to one deserve to be raped for it.
Brightstar, your hatred and vitriol blind you, too. Men need freedom to engage in society without limitations and fears? MEN need this? Have you ever lived as a woman?
BTW I was attacked, unsuccessfully thank God, by a landlord once. You should try being in that position. You behave yourself and you wont have to worry about tenants filing false reports.
Punish men for having libidos? WAHHHHH--poor baby, can't have sex with women who don't want him. Poor kid.
Colorado, when do men get to take responsibility? When? And yes, women do give explicit consent. And men should ask for it. Sorry if you don't think its "romantic". There's no "dance". There is consensual and non consensual sex and the line is clearer than rape apologists like yourself are capable of admitting.
Anon says if men waited for women to say Yes, no relationships would ever get started and the human race would end.
Reading this thread, I'm beginning to look forward to the day. Sheesh.
So rape keeps us fruitful and multiplying, eh?
Follows are all the standard operating accusations of female duplicity, etc. Usual stuff, not worth replying to.
Somebody wrote over at Feministing that she, and every girlfriend she has and every girl she knows, always sleeps with a man within the first week if she likes him. Maybe you need to leave those repressed conservatives alone and date some feminists for a change!
Of course, they won't play games with you, and you might not like that. Might be a little bit too direct, and not enough of a "dance" for you.
It's incredibly simple.
Assume that silence, indifference, and attempts to avoid sneaky advances mean "NO", all the time, until you get a definite "Yes".
Repeat: Assume that silence means "No". Everything that is not "Yes", stated as "Yes", means "No".
And don't fuck drunk girls, ever. It's already against the law in a lot of places.
If you feel you are miscommunicating with a sober woman, say "I think I'm getting mixed signals here. Can you clarify your intentions?" As you keep loudly shouting, women are adults, not children, and can certainly handle some version of this question. This puts the decision firmly in their hands. They will appreciate that.
See how easy?
BTW, if women are adults, not children or poor little things who don't know their own minds, what's with guys thinking they need to seduce, argue, cajole, or "negotiate" their way into sex by fair means or foul? If we are adults why do men like you refuse to treat us that way?
Ohhhhh, we're only supposed to suck it up when taking the rap......I seeeeeee......
funny how that works....
please keep up the good work. You are making a difference, believe it. Thanks for posting.
Never mind the couple of guys who come on here to vent their pathological hatred of women. They're here for every entry, every day.
And never mind the guy who immediately jumped on you for making a vague comment involving marriage. Marriage is not popular with Braodsheet posters.
there's an extensive discussion of this very quote that you have there in italics over in Feministing; if you are genuinely trying to learn anything you can go and read it. It's not necessary to repeat it all.
Suffice it to say that of course researchers are using a definition of rape that is separate from the victims' self-definition. As one poster has already graphically demonstrated, many women do not call it rape because it hurts too much to admit it, or they are ashamed, or are exercising self-blame, etc.
By your standard nobody can be a victim of rape who will not or cannot identify what happened with the word "rape". This is wrong as the researchers knew. Hence the disparity.
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
219 Democrats and one Republican join in favor of the legislation, which passed by a narrow margin
The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
Salon headlines in your mailbox
