So the best way to keep a guy's interest is to do a hand job on his ego whenever you meet him?

Uh huh. Do you flutter your eyelashes while only talking about him?

In answer to Edziu's muse: I used to work in academia. I was/am considered very attractive, am "busty", but work out, etc. but I don't think that is the point.

The men think sex with any kind of commitment is for squares. They think they should fuck all of their female acquantiances at least once. The women should all be very enthusiastic about this because the are "free". I have been told more than once if I would just be a "fuck buddy", I would find it "very liberating".

I am very ambivalent about the whole fuck buddy, hookup, FWB, NSA sex thing, but it is not my job to worry about other people's lives. But I know it is not right for me. I have had two long term relationships followed by a ten year marriage (divorce amicable). I am happy and comfortable with this model. I am always put in the position of having to tell otherwise educated and intelligent men "No, I do not want to fuck you but I don't mind continuing to play chess/talk at the coffee shop/whatever"

I feel I should be able to do this without being called a bitch, a pollyana, a goddamn princess, etc. Twice the guys flashed pictures of wives and kids I didn't know about on their way out. Very weird.

Apparently somewhere in all this liberation I lost the right to say "no", even to obvious car crashes waiting to happen (married guys, guys I really wasn't very attracted to for whatever reason, etc.). This confuses and saddens me. I mean, I did not manifest any romantic interest in any of these people. They hit on me, not a crime, so I try to be nice or even ignore it, and they not only cut me dead but usually are nasty about it. Why?

I didn't turn them all down, a couple of times I did say yes to the fucking, and then I lost them as friends anyway, because it felt weird and icky to meet them socially afterwards; if it wasn't a breakup then what was it? It was just easier to drop it and move on like it was a relationship that had gone bad. The guys sure as hell did not mind at all which tells you what that was all about. That's the normal model in my experience.

So, yeah, I pretty much only have the slimy gash as far as guys are concerned; I do well with men at work, but socially it goes to X point and then they are after it. And it's like that for most women I know. It's too bad but that's the way it is. I don't like seeing men and women painted into the corners of their gender roles any more than the next person, but it is really uncommon for any kind of substantial friendship to develop between a man and a woman, and it is a LOT of the time very difficult to even keep men as casual friends. And like I said I think that is really limiting and sad, but not much I can do about it.

You know, I tried telling a man up front once, who I really liked but too many issues for a relationship, if he wanted the friendship he shouldn't risk it by getting his dick involved. Didn't work. He wanted sex. It's too bad.

Even when they don't want me, if they are willing to admit that the fucking isn't going to lead anywhere, they still want the sex so that's why I say, for them all I have is the slimy gash--I find it to be a pretty accurate assessment.

Now the ones who lie through their teeth about wanting a relationship just to get the sex--please don't get me started. I'm not going to be mad if the guy is an honest playa (although I probably will not be getting involved), but I will be mad if he lies to me.

It's funny we have this model where the guy's goal in life is to rack up as much tail as possible and the girl's goal is to trick such a moron into marriage with her by any means possible, esp. if he has a high income (I do not buy for a second the arguments that there is some biological instinct behind this). Then she cries when he cheats and he says what's the big deal and on and on it goes. In the words of King (no not that one), "Why can't we all just get along?"

It feels like a battle all the time and I don't know why it should.

Done now. Maybe somebody else can explain this?

No, no, Anon. He fucks those of his women friends who will allow it, and desires to fuck the others and renegotiates from time to time because "women change their minds".

So, no worries, he really is one of you. He says he "loves" women, but like every man who says that he just wants to fuck them. So it's all okay.

What women are left out of this? The unattractive. There's an old, old saying "It's better to be a pig than a pretty girl", and that really is true. At least the pig can only be butchered once. But a nice looking woman gets used and thrown away over and over again.

Yes, I'm bitter.

You can laugh about it if you want and reiterate that I am too sexually conservative and should fuck more men, the standard argument.

If fucking the few was bad, why should I fuck the many? How would that help? I have never understood this logic.

So, instead of telling me what to do, go fuck yourselves.