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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
TinaS1
Published Letters: 780 Editor's Choice: 21
you and the other poster are right about the monolithic statements, but I would reply we shouldn't make monolithic statements about Western women or even just American women and that hasn't stopped anybody, has it? Apparently, one can say we are all wearing our bikinis to Botox parties in between bouts of meaningless "NSA sex"--it's okay, somehow, to say that. Iranian author Ms. Sartapi makes a comment about how American women get lip jobs that look like a "goose anus" and is universally applauded! And yet, who, besides a movie star like Angelina Jolie, do we know has actually had her lips done? I for one don't know a single person who has had this procedure. I have never met one, and I bet many of the other readers haven't either. So why is this stereotyping of the "Western woman" okay?
We have to make these generalized statements because we can't have the discussion otherwise. It's a device we use. We know there are these crazes in our culture and we talk about what causes them. Yes, it's stereotyping but we can't get along without it for the purposes of the debate.
Similarly, yes, it's an oversimplification, but the beauty standard, including the Westernized one, does exist for Muslim women also and they do strive to emulate it, thanks to the emphasis on the feminine in their respective cultures. Some even go quite a bit further than most Western women in this area, and even Ms. Sartapi herself has written about Iranian women getting boob jobs to please their husbands. The hijab hasn't liberated women in this sense although this might be a fond dream of some Western feminists. That's all I am saying. Thanks for understanding that and being able to see my point.
Hmmmm...let's see...I do know one man who actively discouraged his wife from wearing the hijab, and she wanted to wear it anyway. It was an arranged marriage; he was a very kind hearted guy and wanted her to be happy. He told her it was all right to go without hijab, to go to movies, go see her friends (tied in with the issue of hijab is always the issue of mobility, it seems), but she insisted on keeping it. She said it would shame her to be seen without it. She said that the hijab really protected women and was good for them.
She was also crazy-abusive, of her children and of her husband, irrational, suspicious of everywhere he went and every woman he looked at, and at one point she seriously injured him by stabbing him with a knife. Her screaming at him used to keep the neighbors awake at night.
The marriage finally ended when he walked in on her and she was "with" one of his friends *ahem*.
I guess it's possible to actively choose the hijab but my bet is that it's a decision that is made with some serious baggage playing a role. I knew a lot of the American converts David Sugarman is talking about when I used to practice Islam in Texas and they are one group of very screwed up ladies.
Just as you would have to be, even if you joined some Jesus Jumper cult. Now neither Islam nor Christianity are cults but you do notice these very damaged people ending up at the very conservative (niqab and hijab wearing) end of the spectrum. There's a reason, folks.
Undoubtedly some of the women who go under hijab are fairly articulate and can say some nice-sounding things. But the fact is that Islam says the only thing you are supposed to leave uncovered is your face and hands, and any woman who feels shamed by having her hair or arms exposed has some emotional problems. Which sort of negates the issue of "choice" if you ask me.
why insane? Or do you just say things without ever explaining them?
It occurs to me while this discussion is going on that Salman Rushdie in Midnight's Children wrote about a case similar to the one I knew personally, of a woman whose better-educated and modern husband encouraged her to leave purdah and she refused, arguing her own empowerment. Rushdie's character also became insanely abusive of her family and ended up physically assaulting her husband. Although fiction, I'm pretty sure this portrait was drawn from life. Ayaan Hirsi Ali's mother also seems to have been like this, if you read her autobiography.
The hijab itself is a little beside the point here...I think it goes back to an earlier issue from Broadsheet about the burqa clad women who became vigilantes in Pakistan: can women choose their own oppression? I would argue that these women, whose anger and frustration comes out in the form of abuse in the home, have been so thoroughly brainwashed that they are not really free agents anymore. I know that's probably an unpopular thing to say but there are people who can hardly be said to be exercising free choice. Saying that a woman has "chosen" the burqa falls into this category; the hijab I'm a little more ambivalent about, since, as many people have pointed out, it's often not that much different than your grandma's headscarf. Still we don't see ANY Western young women wearing headscarves today, so it's a little stupid to talk about Jane Austen's time--clearly nobody wants it now. In a truly free world, I don't think many Muslim women would choose it either.
the burqa has been used by many terrorists and criminals, including bank robbers in Bosnia and the terrorist maulvi of the Lal Masajid when he tried to escape. Some people have said that Bin Laden has made use of the burqa as a disguise...although he's also, apparently, very tall so who knows.
So the burqa is good for something!
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