by how all these stories relate a similar dynamic of the family rallying around the abuser.

Perhaps the family sickness that creates the abuser in the first place causes this?

I really don't know. I have noticed that families who have the "veil of secrecy" code tend to have these skeletons in their closets.

"Don't wash the dirty laundry in public", they say. Okay then, I guess the answer is to keep the dirty laundry in the bottom of the closet, stinking and foul and covered with shit, and keep wearing it like that. That's logic, right?

I'm also mystified by why these rapists pracitcally never, ever go to prison even though everyone is aware of their crimes and presumably there would be plenty of evidence. Even Dr. Phil had an abusive older brother on his show and jail was not brought up as an option. The parents just sat there and whimpered and moaned--I wanted to use Electro Robots "solution" on the whole lot of them. The only person you did not ever see was the abused girl. I can think of good reasons she was not brought on the show, but it was interesting to me that everybody had their say but the one being victimized.

It seems to be always like that.

Tracy, I'm really hoping you just failed to read that last line before phoning it in.

You didn't have to fit everything on the list into the sentence you know.

BTW I wouldn't celebrate anything with a "hookup", either. But that's just me...

That whole concluding sentence made me want to take a shower.

But the rape joke? WTF. With friends like these....

is great but seriously flawed, but I think what works against her the most is that people don't like the dynastic flavor politics has taken on lately. Bill Clinton is barred, so we should just run his wife. This is so damned third world; sounds like the Bhutto or Gandhi clans. Yes, I know the Bushes and Kennedys and other families do it too. The point is many of us are sick of it because it is so obviously an oligarchy of the wealthy and their relatives and spouses.

Jennifer Granholm would be my pick for a great woman candidate in 2012 or 2016 except for two things, first she was born in Canada and cannot run and secondly she has been governor while Michigan's economy has tanked. She isn't responsible for it and may even have mitigated the worst effects, but she will be blamed.

If we change the rules so Granholm can run--and some people want to--we would be clearing the way for Schwarzenegger to run, too. And I don't think we need that.

he got a little too peeved about it, but his general point is well taken--this isn't really about us yuppies and our "breastfeeding in public places" debate and it's sort of cheap to make it like that. The two things don't equate.

But hey, no blog is going to be all brilliant all the time. For that matter, I don't think it sounds anything like a "plot out of Steinbeck" either (or if so I can't imagine what plot that might be), but I'm not going to go all ballistic over it.

I too am very tired of the "whip out your breasts" figure of speech. It sounds like a strip tease on stage and continues to sexualize the discussion.

That's all.

You are clearly so angry and so out of it that you equate hearing a basketball with causing PTSD or being hideously tortured--as you have claimed to be without providing details. Your anger is out of all proportion to anything even expressed by the LW--who, to be fair, doesn't sound like he really wants to go to the police or drop a nuclear bomb on his neighbors, he just wants some advice on how to approach them.

I think we've all been a little rough on him, but this is how his neighbors will perceive him if he becomes confrontational without making friends first.

The inappropriate and extreme nature of your rage is what makes me in all seriousness suggest that you get help. I do know people who are "sensitive" to slights as you are. These hair trigger people have some mental problems. They have persecution complexes. Sometimes they end up in jail or hurting somebody badly before they get it addressed. Don't let that happen to you.

over to the WSJ?

Come on, I know, but what did the WSJ ever do to you that was THAT bad?

Don't go.

I'm going to disagree with Cary on this one.

You were severaly traumatized and being exposed to your torturer could well have no effect other than to dredge up and inflame the old trauma. You may even have a flashback. It could be very painful and set back your recovery. You've gotten this far by taking your recovery seriously (too many people don't). Continue to take it seriously and don't jeopardize it.

I don't see how putting yourself through that will empower you. I think that's wishful but inaccurate thinking on Cary's part. You've already empowered yourself by forgiving. Now continue to stand up for yourself.

Don't let your mother, who does not sound very sympathetic, push you around.

It is unfair of her to put you in this position. You were sexually abused by your brother for chrissakes. Let her be spiteful and not have her damn party. Let her know it's no skin off your nose.

As a survivor of family abuse, I'd tell her to go to hell if it was me.