*sigh*

I am always amazed by the commenters who rush to protect/rescue the fragile little darling LWs from we eeevil demonizers who *gasp* dare to call someone on their behavior.

I half-expect one day a LW to Cary will say, "Jeez, I keep driving drunk and doing hit & runs on old ladies and young children. I know I shouldn't be doing this, but boy howdy, I can't help myself...I have bad impulse control! It's not my fault, it's my control issues! Help me, Cary."

In which case Teensy and the usual gang of blanket sympathizers (Ted Bundy was just 'misunderstood', cheaters, wife beaters, pedophiles etc. just need 'counseling', nobody is REALLY a bad person, yada yada yada) will write in to defend the honor of the poor wilting flower that is the LW.

Because, after all, THEY are the real victims...right?

{Not one ounce of sympathy for the bf in this case from any of the LW defenders, either. Nice.}

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Look, LW. You are hurting someone. Maybe not at the current time - but your bf will likely be very hurt when he finds out about your behavior.

Not to mention the possibility of STDs, etc that you may be giving him.

You don't have impulse control problems. Or mental health problems. You have "I am an asshole" problems.

You are making an active choice to hurt another person - who happens to care for you. Repeatedly, without ACTUAL concern for that person - only yourself.

That makes you an asshole.

The solution?

Break up with your boyfriend - let him go find a decent girl who he can share mutual happiness and respect with.

There are such women out there - who are much better people than you.

Step 2: Fix yourself. Stop being an asshole. How?

Wake up one morning, grow a pair of brass ovaries, and turn over a new leaf....

Or: don't. Remain an asshole, but find only fellow assholes to interact with.

And when you find your "new" bf fucking another woman on your bed one day, soak it all in...and remember to excuse him.

Not his fault....just bad impulse control, ya see! =P

Firstly, to Marc (& by extension Teensy): I certainly don't consider myself a perfect or even virtuous person. I have my flaws and bad habits...as I'm sure that other commenters with me on this thread - who are calling the LW out on her bullshit - would also freely admit.

What makes me - let's say, "not an asshole" instead of the loaded "nice person" description - is that I take responsibility if and when I fuck up in life. What also makes me not an asshole is that I wake up every morning trying to live by the Golden Rule, and trying to improve myself in some way.

So to sum me up: Flawed? Sure. Makes mistakes? Yep.

Hides behind victim mentality of "it's not my fault, it's my impulse control! Or, ummm - it's bipolar disorder! That frees me from culpability!"

Hell no. Never.

Do y'all get it? I'm not ripping on the LW for her flaws. or even her behavior per se.

It's the fact that she is acting hurtfully to someone else - while refusing to take responsibility for her actions.

Blaming "impulse control" is not accepting responsibility. It is the cry of a passive psuedo-victim...and there are enough REAL victims of crap in this world to make the existence of fake ones nauseating.)

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Look, if she wants to bang every guy in sight as a single person, all power to her. Any potential negative consequences will be experienced by the LW and the LW alone.

But she is actively choosing to remain in a relationship while she, y'know, '...does Dallas'. What is she gets knocked up? Will she trick the bf into believing it's his, so he helps her raise it?

And will "impulse control" work as a get-out-of-jail free excuse then?

What if she gives her BF herpes, AIDS, syphilis, or better yet - gives him HPV, he never knows he is a carrier (having trusted her)...and he unwittingly gives it to his next female partner?

Will "impulse control" get the LW off the hook once more?

[I know someone who this happened to; she - the girlfriend AFTER the guy dumped the skank - contracted HPV, got cervical cancer and died at 29. This is real life, people]

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In the end, I suppose I must agree to disagree with the LW's empathizers (nod to Marc).

It's not about evil or good, moral or impure...

Once again: the LW is actively choosing - key word is ACTIVELY - to endanger the emotional and possibly physical state of her boyfriend.

And best of all, her reasoning is: it's not ME, it's my impulses.

Active, conscious violation of the Golden Rule and disavowal of responsibility for your actions makes you an asshole in my book. I'll just leave it at that.