1.) If a guy actually says something as extreme as "Nice arse" or "I wanna squeeze those titties" (as opposed to, say, just a wolf whistle) to you, simply turn around and say --

"Nice bulge! Though it could be thicker..."

I guarantee you this will disarm him - probably leading to a laugh, a harmless retort or perhaps general embarassment. Use your discretion, of course.

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2.) Maybe it's because I've lived in and visited cultures (Italy, Latin America, some parts of Caribbean) where whistling and ogling are still accepted...but the notion of a guy who catcalls being predisposed to sexual assault is frankly very ridiculous!

Don't get me wrong - I'm not advocating for catcalling, or objectification of women in general. I'm just saying that even though some/most of these men are loutish (think "The Todd" on Scrubs), it's a huuuuuuuuuuuge gulf between them and sexual assaulters.

{{Frankly, I'd be more worried about the creepy silent guy secretly eyeing you than the louts on the sidewalk...}}

Did any of the videos feature the occurence of the most wonderful of all childbirth phenomena?

Yup, that's right...say it with me now: Pre. Birth. Turds!

That at some point, Hank tries to fire Billy Martin (may he RIP) out of sheer petulance?

Gotta love those Steinbrenners...

...we adults would just let kids be kids, and enjoy the innocence of childhood.

In the real world, if you don't have your baby pre-signed for the right pre-school, his/her education will be completely f#cked. If they don't play two instruments, speak two languages and make perfect tiramisu by age 7, they're already wayyyy behind the curve.

In the real world, fathers shove golf clubs, footballs, baseball bats etc. into Junior's hand as soon as they can sit upright - envisioning the money and glory of their kid being the next Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan.

In the real world, "mothers" like Dina Lohan and Drew Barrymore's mom whore their daughters out to Hollywood in desperate hopes of co-basking in fame and fortune.

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So in the real world, slutty clothes and fuck-me pumps on 4-year olds makes absolute sense.

'Childhood innocence'? Just a myth still clung to by the elders.

"At one point or another, all of us - yes, all - will become somebody's whore."

Charles Manson?

Andrea Yates?

David Koresh?

Ann Coulter?

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Look, I'm all in favor of destigmatizing people with mental diseases. BUT, if the Mad Pride movement is trying to portray "madness" as just another facet of someone's personality/identity - the way the GLBT movement did for homosexuality - then frankly, they really are off their rockers.

Homosexuality is not a disease. Mental illnesses are. Like other diseases, they should be treated, and attempts made to reduce, cure and prevent them - or at least aim for a livable balance - wherever possible.

I have known people firsthand who succumbed to schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, anxiety attacks and OCD. I can tell you without a doubt that they did not celebrate their loss of sanity and control one iota. There is/was no "Pride" involved - just a desperate desire to return to a healthy mental state.

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I was morbidly obese, and now am still slightly overweight as I continue to aim for a goal to get down to a healthy BMI. I would approve of efforts to destigmatize "fatness" - but do I think it should be simply celebrated and accepted as a valid way of living? HELL NO!! I think obesity is a disease which can have drastic effects on people's health and quality of life - and should be treated as a disease, not an identity trait.

The same should be said of insanity.

Catherine MacKinnon reportedly is the creator of this joke - she first told it at the 1994 Michigan Woymn's Festival:

A blind man walks past a bakery.

He says, "That fresh French bread smells divine!"

He walks past a rib shack.

He says, "Wow, I could really go for a BBQ pork sandwich right now!"

He then walks past a fishmonger's stand.

He takes off his hat and politely says, "Hello, ladies!"

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This letter was sponsored by the makers of Bajingosil - cream for down under (and we don't mean Melbourne!)

Answer: Install video screens at regular intervals along the border that play a looped tape of the "South Park" movie.

Kyle's Mom and the 'Blame Canada' number are sure to scare all those darn Canucks back home to their log cabins - where Red Green will be on the tele as always to comfort and soothe them...

Finally, Salon, like, totally has an article on my fave show (other than "Hannah Montana", "My Super Sweet 16" and "Paris does Paris"), the Hills! Fun!

I so, like, totalllllly relate to Lauren. She has soooo many problems, to, like, deal with!! Nobody in this world has more dramatic, heart-rending, TV-worthy struggles than, like, rich white teenage American girls who are famous and lionized for....wait for it...appearing on a reality TV show. Nobody!

Chinese quake victims? Myanmar cyclone relief debacle? As if!!!!

I mean, okay, sad, but, like, this is Salon.com - where u find news that totally matters. Like, how sad was Lo when Lauren talked behind her back? Pain. Sad. Totally.

Luvz,

Salon's BFF LiLofanatic83

That if another toy company - Tonka or Hasbro, maybe - decided to try to make its products more eco-friendly, then you/Broadsheet wouldn't have mocked 'n' skewered them.

But *gasp*...if it is Mattel / Barbie?!?! How dare they try to make this evil symbol of patriarchal sexism have a little less negative environmental impact?!?! How dare they! >8-O

~sigh~ Predictable, much?

P.S. - Maybe Dove can break into the business and release their own "Campaign for Real Beauty" doll to compete with the Barbinator. It could have the hip/waist ratio and other proportions of "real" women like, say, Rosie O'Donnell or Kirstie Alley?