(i.e. we'd all be a lot nicer to each other if we all actually spoke to one another in a public setting)

Sorry to rain on your & GK's utopian parade, buddy, but clearly y'all don't live in the world I do.

In between drivin' my oil-burner and riding my bike, I take public transport like a good lib. I also visit parks and go sit on a public bench while reading a book.

And you know "speaking to each other in a public setting" I have to deal with?

1.) The seemingly nice white lady who sits nearby and starts a conversation about weather, etc. - only to segue into Jesus and how I'm doomed to Hell because I haven't accepted him as my Savior. (I'm brown-skinned, you see, so he/she singles me out because obviously I must be a savage darkie heathen in need of "Saving".)

2.) The seemingly normal young man who sit nearby and starts a conversation - only to berate me with schizoprhenic paranoid delusions about how the Malaysian prime minister is cooking our brains with invisible lasers, or how major league baseball runs the Illuminati, or how the world would all be better if loonies and normals talked to each other in public settings...

3.) The seemingly normal woman who sits nearby and starts a conversation...only to segue into a hard-luck tale about her broken down car and starving baby and can I please borrow $3 for the bus and some food, please?

{And, of course, if/when I give her money, the next day her and some strung-out pals come around and plead for $10 this time...for "food". And for the "baby". Really.

4.) The seemingly normal man who sit nearby, starts a conversation - and tries to deal me a rock of crack cocaine. And when I say no thanks, threatens to "fuckin' kill" me if I seem him around again and rat him out.

5.) The woman who sits next to me and starts a conversation - and then segues to this really great pyramid money-making scheme she heard about, and how she needs $100 from me to get it started.

6.) The man/men who sits down next to my sister at the park, on the bus, etc. and start conversations - only to proceed to sexually proposition her, and then harass and even act abusively towards her when she politely declines and tries to walk away.

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So, Baby-Eating Lib, maybe the rich, safe suburban white world that GK and possibly you inhabit might be a better place if you all stop to talk to each other, find out your favorite Ethan Allen pieces, talk about how Cody and Propecia and Madison will be starting preschool, etc etc.

But in MY world? I have no desire to talk to strangers.

I see the reality of people every day - and the awareness that MOST of them are pretty fucked up is not misanthropy. It's just the Truth.

So don't be alarmed if I put on my headphones as you or others approach me to speak to me in a public setting, so as to save the world, make it a better place, yada yada.

I'm not interested. We're strangers...let's keep it that way.

Yeah, Jesus is great - but I don't care. And no, I don't have 3 bucks to spare.

--The guy who pleasantly approached me while I sat alone at Caribou Coffee, said hello, remarked that I spoke English very well (ohhhkkkay...it's my native tongue, but whatever) - and then asked me what right I had to come here from Mexico and steal American jobs.

(I'm not Mexican, just brown. And I'm not an illegal immigrant, but whatever).

-- The pleasant mother with young kids at MacDonald's where I sat alone who came up to me and said that I should not be offended (of course not! why would I?) if kept closely watched my every move. She said that Fox News said that she, as a ptariotic citizen, should be on the lookout for any suspicious terrorist activity...and that while she could not ask me to leave, she had her childrens' safety to think of.

(I'm not Arab. Or Muslim. I don't have a beard or wear a towel on my head. Hell, I had a Green Bay Packers tee on when this occurred).

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Yep, we'd all be a lot nicer if we talked, gosh darn it!

Nicely done, Keef!

Out of the mouths of babes, indeed...=)

Whenever I'm into a girl (insert "The Todd" from Scrubs joke here), I usually do little things to pamper her & show her I care, like cook a nice meal for her, make her a sammich, even get her some O.J. and Halls when she's got a cold...

And yet here I yam, currently & pitifully single and sexless.

If only I knew: the secret was to have the girl make ME a sammich!

Sweet - maybe I should ask that cutie I work with for a pastrami on rye; that way, she'll know I want her to please me...and soon we'll be makin' the beast with 2 backs!

Thanks, Dave!

;-)