I am very conflicted about this subject. I've had three obstetricians, two male and one female, and they all brought different strengths and weaknesses to the trade. In reviewing my history, I think experience counted more than any other factor, including gender, in overall capabilities. But I think the real problem is that, this is an area where the whole ends up being a lot less when the sum of the personal preferences leads to de facto segregation of an entire medical field. As a female doctor explained to me once, once a field is filled with only women, it's credibility declines and it stops being the focus of innovation, research, and basically, enthusiasm. It shouldn't be this way, but I can see why it would be: Men, mediocre or brilliant, are discouraged from entering the field (already happening), and high achieving women, sensitive to being "ghettoized" elect a different field -- and before you know it, Ob-gyn is a little backwater for people who couldn't do something else. This view has dragged down the status of teaching, nursing, and even being a secretary. It's a reflection of our screwed up culture, but then, showing any sexual preference, even this one, is a reflection of our awareness of sex differences. FWIW, I don't like being touched by "anyone," male or female, down there, that is, unless it's my hubby.

Honestly, there are some doctors that take a throw in the kitchen sink approach to IVF, but Clomid is suboptimal for IVF cycles because it thins the endometrial lining, and implantation is already lower for IVF than for natural cycles. It also is one of the fertility drugs that has been proven to have potentially long term, deleterious consequences for women who use it for more than a certain number of months (I think it's something like 10 or 12). So it really shouldn't be used, and in all the cycles I'm familiar with, it hasn't been. But I can't certify that no doctor uses it, no, you are correct, and a prospective donor should ask in advance what the drug protocol will be, and, in my view, reject the use of Clomid in a DE cycle.

So after giving up school, cats and other features of life as she knew it to move to London, LW looked around and thought, "wow, at least I have Europe as my backyard and can go to all those neat places I've wanted to see for so long," and booked a short trip to Paris. When you do that much for someone, even someone you love dearly, you might just want to "declare" yourself as still being an independent being. A quick trip to Paris seems so reasonable in light of all the other aspects of independence that LW gave up. I would have done the same thing. But there's hubby, who, instead of seeing this little trip as a way of validating LW's choice and providing her with further evidence that the move wasn't all about sacrifice, seems to want even more, indeed, seems to want everything to be in some measure about him (even if he says "about them", it's the same thing, because it can never be about her alone). And even though he doesn't say no he makes her feel really, really bad about it. And this is how life will be: if it's not his idea or doesn't include him he will likely make LW feel really bad about it. If he can't see that or change his reaction to LW's individual needs, this will not be a happy marriage.

Clomid is never used in IVF. It is used for natural or "IUI" cycles, not IVF or DE (which is a kind of IVF). You may take the rest of Domini's comment on those who become "clomicidal" for what it's worth in light of that fact. That's not to say the other hormones that are used don't have an effect, but they are generally the same hormones that are already present in your body, just in greater concentration.

If you don't have any qualms about donating your eggs, then I wouldn't let the naysayers who have no connection to you and no evident responsibility for your well-being or happiness stand in your way. That would include your roommates. However, the fact that you are concerned about the reaction of your close family members tells me that you, perhaps, are not as sure about doing this as you think you might be. Honestly, I would discuss your decision with at least one person, not someone you know is simply going to give a knee-jerk and unthinking politically charged reaction, but someone you respect and are close to, who is reasonably open-minded, and who will look at it from the perspective of your welfare, rather than advancing some other agenda. Any ethical egg donation program will also require you to undergo psychological evaluation, and your unwillingness to tell anyone about your decision will come up as an issue. I have read a lot of egg donor profiles, and everyone of these prospective donors had discussed the decision with someone significant in their lives. I think you owe it to yourself to do so as well.

Finally, regarding the process of egg donation. You do not need to go through an agency, and might find it more convenient to go through a clinic in your town. Clinics might not pay as much but the process will be simpler for you and you will be dealing with the same people from start to finish. You might also try investigating infertility chat boards where you can post your thoughts and questions to others who have actually gone through, or contemplated going through, this process.