It's possible co-worker has a different view, but most likely he is puffing. Also, I think the reality is that because so many resumes are never reviewed except through word searches in a database, job applicants are being told to use keywords if they want to have a prayer of being noticed, so co-worker might have been told that the word manager should appear somewhere for this reason alone. I think it's important for LW and co-worker to be on the same page about what LW will say if called, and if LW doesn't see co-worker as a manager, then it's to co-worker's benefit to change his resume if he still wants to use LW as a reference. Although a resume should be accurate, it also seems reasonable to use it as an opportunity to put yourself in the best light possible. LW could help co-worker to shape his resume in a way that accurately highlights his achievements, for instance, noting if he was instrumental in the success of a given project, or if he had "management responsibility" (accountability but no title) for a particular area.

1. A fair selection of those "what happened to my life?" letters, the lady with the crush on her teenage son's friend comes to mind as being one of the most eye-popping.

2. One or more of the "I want/don't want kids but my spouse no longer agrees with me" letters.

3. Some of the "do I tell so and so the truth" -- about their spouse having an affair, or my personal favorite, the daughter given up for adoption that she is a child of rape. (But your answer could use some work -- in fact, you ought to consider how you might have changed your answer in light of comments)

And my two personal favorites --

The lady whose husband reverted to childhood and illusions of rock star success after his parents gave them a down payment for a house.

And the woman who asked you about whether she could truly be her real self if she had to take Zoloft. Your answer was simply great.

If LW values his wife over all else, why is he even seeking advice? Giving him the benefit of the doubt because his marriage is open to transgressive relationships more than most, I suppose he is pleading for a certain amount of understanding. LW, it doesn't matter what Cary or the rest of us think, you now know that your wife has reached her limit. Now you have no excuse except to phase this free spirit out of your life, that is, if you want to continue your life with your wife as you know it. Maybe you don't, but those are your choices.

I'm sure it feels like walking off of a cliff, but LW needs to give her husband the option of rising above circumstances, or moving on. I don't know how LW should tell her husband, but basic personal integrity and respect for her husband demand that he be clued into her own doubts about the issue of paternity. Were it me, without going into detail about dates and genetic conditions, I would say, "I can't get it out of my head that this baby might be my ex's." At that point, husband will agree that a DNA test (or a blood test) is a good idea, or not, or that it doesn't matter, or whatever, but the issue will be on the table. He might even be relieved that she is willing to document the child's paternity, and frankly, he's a prince of a guy for not having made that kind of demand earlier. As for state laws on paternity, they do differ, but in MOST states, the presumption of paternity can be rebutted within a specified timeframe, even by a husband. But dropping the news after that time period has expired would be an incredibly manipulative act of bad faith.

But I could not stop thinking of this one. I have direct, firsthand knowledge that many people raise and truly love as their own children who do no share their genes, whether through donor gametes or adoption. But those people participated voluntarily in the undertaking, unlike LW's husband. There were at least several natural junctures throughout the course of her pregnancy where LW had the opportunity to obtain husband's consent, and she did not take them. LW, the best opportunity you have to give your child the father he deserves, that is, one who consents to raise and love as his own a child who might not share his genes, is to tell him now that you believe the child might not be his. If he refuses once he verifies that the child is not his, that is still a better outcome for your child than if husband fins out later and realizes that he was duped into an arrangement he never would have agreed to. I shudder at the kind of heartache the child will feel later on if he is rejected by the man he loves as a father. Don't let that happen.

A woman must retain her youthful attractions in order to prevent her hubby from straying, but woe to the beautiful woman who needs the help of a pastor -- she is to be reckoned nothing more than a temptation to sin. Once again proving that the Driscolls of the world want women to be as close to inflatable dolls as humanly possible -- they don't lose their muscle tone as they age and they don't require counseling or compassion or the other things that ministers are supposed to provide when they actually "minister" to their congregation. The only real human trait required of women for this crowd is a working vagina and uterus.