I don't know anything about the field, but I do know how unwise it can be to follow someone who has an inflexible career commitment. So here are the questions that I would be asking:

1. How long is the post doc commitment? If it's two years or less, I wouldn't give it up for a less desirable position. Those are both big cities that are well-served by airports, etc. You can keep a relationship going long distance for that amount of time if you are both as committed as it sounds like you think you are.

2. You give up things commensurate with the expected return. What are her thoughts are about your plan, even assuming that what she says can be trusted (trust me, a lot can change when the setting changes)? She might prefer that you not give up so much for her, at least not in the short run. She values her career -- she might place more value on yours than you do, and it might be independently important to her that you achieve your goals.

She just moved to a new area and could be meeting lots of new people and having a blast, or be working herself to death. After a bit of time, she is going to know whether absence made her heart grow fonder, or not. But it's an awful lot for you to risk without more of an express commitment from her.

You are truly special to be so willing to make room for your girlfriend's career. Just make sure you and she are both looking out for you as well.

The advantage of doing PGD (preimplantation genetic diagnosis)for women who are over 35 is that it would be helpful in determining how many embryos should be transferred, and avoiding multiple births. On average, older women are less likely to have multiple implantations because of increases in genetic defects, but it's hard to predict the result in an individual woman, and PGD would help by allowing doctors to implant relatively fewer healthy embryos. So I assume the study was done to assess whether PGD would unduly compromise the success of treatment, but in any case, it's a trade off between successful outcome (pregnancy) and risk of serious complications of multiple birth.

There are many reproductive specialists who have been skeptical of PGD because of concerns that it weakens the embryo and makes implantation less likely. This study appears to bear out their fears. However, as the previous poster noted, this study provides no evidence that if the embryo does manage to implant, PGD will compromise the resulting baby who is born 9 months later.

If what you really want is a peaceful and serene existence, then pay your respects. If however, you want to play a starring role in your grandmother's funeral by rekindling the family drama you grew up with, then by all means, stand your ground and make sure everyone knows that when good Southerners escape northward they sure do get ugly and all. For heaven's sake, she's your grandmother, not your ex-husband.

Twelve times in a year is more than twice as much biting as I saw with three children in full-time daycare, for the whole time all of them were there. Forget the national chain status, that means nothing, except that it sometimes means they will try to impose harmful personnel policies like those discussed in one of the previous posts. The issue is whether the teachers are doing enough to anticipate and preempt rather foreseeable behavior. Biting usually breaks out when two preverbal toddlers want the same cool toy and one expresses himself by . . . biting or hitting or kicking. It's really the same from the toddler's perspective. If the teachers are especially passive, they only intervene after bad things happen, rather than trying to engage and distract as an incipient violent situation develops. Yes, the children in the class will outgrow it, but the style of caregiving is the issue, and it will remain an issue with different consequences in subsequent years. So go observe the class, make an appointment with the manager and go over what you've seen. And look around for something different. It never hurts to know what else is available.

It depends. My son reliably identified a child who bit him (in the back, through the shirt, by the way) in a tussle over a bubble car which ALL the little boys simply adore. Credibility at all age levels depends on context, consistency of the story, whether there's a motive to lie and so on. When you look at your child and say, "did somebody bite you?" and his eyes fill with tears as he says, "Joey," you can assume that's the truth -- Joey's parents might deny it but why would your son give something other than the correct response? Do you think he understands that Joey might face some consequences if he becomes a serial biter? No, he doesn't.

I can identify with this, from a previous daycare experience. Here is what you need to understand: it will not get better. A kid who is out of control at two and who is not being adequately disciplined will be out of control at four and doing as much if not more damage. The manager needs to act or you need to transfer your child. Having on-site employee daycare for caregiver is a tremendous benefit that many daycare workers would love to have. It is to everyone's benefit that the employee's child be treated like any other. You are doing her no long term favor by looking the other way. Soon enough, there will be others who will not -- and the consequences for poor impulse control and aggression will be so much worse 10 or 20 years hence.