My kid has autism and we don't have a TV. The reason why so many kids with autism love videos is that they have sensory issues and enjoy the stimulation of the brightness and movement onscreen. It's the same reason some of them like flapping their hands in front of their eyes: the issue is not the hands, it's the kid's need for sensory stimulation above and beyond what he or she is getting from the environment.

and thought, "No, don't tell her! Are you crazy?" Then I read the letter and I changed my mind. I guess it's because everyone seems young enough to get out without major damage. There aren't any kids, either. I think you should tell her, and provide evidence, but know where the nearest exit is, if you know what I mean. And don't do it in the middle of her workday.

Are you perhaps from Georgia? I went to high school with twins named Orangello and Lemonjello. (Can't remember how Orangello was actually spelled.) Anyway, yes, doubters, they did exist--but they were not African American. They looked white and had a Hispanic or Portuguese last name. For what it's worth, they were nice, good-looking guys who didn't seem to suffer for the odd names.

I also knew a girl named Bretagne--pronounced Brittany. White. And how many (white) boys now are named Aidan? Remember Caitlin? Olivia was big a few years back. Obviously, the actual names aren't the problem with "black" names--it's that they're black-identified that makes them problematic in the wider culture.

I'm not lying. Why would I? I won't offer to have my mom fax you a yearbook picture, though, as I do my friends, because I don't like your tone. But they did exist. I don't have money on convincing you, or anything. What's it to ya? Maybe Mom heard the urban legend and thought it sounded cool.

fuck you for calling me a liar.

as soon as I can get it from the yearbook. Again, the twins WERE NOT black, and their mother probably named them that because she'd heard the legend and thought it sounded cute regardless. They'd be in their late 20s, I guess. I didn't see them listed on my high school page on classmates, so I don't know if they're still going by their childhood names. I sure as hell wouldn't.

Also, to the prim-language police, in my neck of the woods, being gratuitously called a liar when one is telling the truth is a lot worse than using the f-word. The latter's just rude, the former attacks my foul-mouthed but absolutely truthful character.

Helena, right? Heroine of "All's Well that Ends Well"? Movie star Helena Bonham Carter? I'm not real sure how she says it and how it should be said. What's right, [HE' lenuh] or [hu LEE' nuh]?

I'm the mother of a little girl with "special needs," and I hate the word retarded. It's interesting, isn't it, that most of those of us who love someone who may not be of "normal" intelligence hate this word, while those who don't (yet) have such a person in their lives go around defending it. I hate this word because every time you use it, you imply that people like my kid are just plain WORTH LESS than everyone else. How can you lack the empathy to understand this?

As far as the ridiculous question of "what insult will we use in the future" goes, I don't know, why don't we find a word meaning "a person who does careless and inconsiderate things because they don't care"? A person with retardation, after all, can't help what they do. For the poster who suggested, for example, that there's no way to talk about the Bush administration without referring to "retard" or other terms signifying less intelligence, I suggest that the issue with Bush is not one of low intelligence, but rather, evil. If he were merely unintelligent, surely the man wouldn't bear responsibility for the havoc he's created.

I'm not trying to ban words. I do, however, think people should be aware of their implications. I don't understand why, having been made aware of how this term makes the most defenseless members of our society and those who love them feel, so many of you feel compelled to resist this testimony. "It's not hurtful! You have no reason to feel injured or insulted!" Ridiculous. You are welcome to speak however you like, but you have been informed at whose expense the use of this word occurs. I understand the desire to speak provocatively, even offensively, but at the very least, you could do so at the expense of people with power, rather than the most powerless among us. Picking on people who can't defend themselves is called bullying, and it's the same when you do it directly or indirectly.

I also wanted to respond to Brightstar--the return's comment about white males being the last people one could insult. I actually saw a bumper sticker the other day saying, "Boys are dumb. Throw rocks at them." Can you believe? Maybe I'm "oversensitive" (which is another accusation people who use bullying, mean, or demeaning language like to throw at those of us who don't appreciate it), but I was totally offended. I'm the mother of a son and I didn't think the slogan was cute or funny at all.

the new aerobic exercise. I lowered my cholesterol by twenty points just by being outraged all the time!

Nah, I wasn't so much outraged at the bumper sticker (husband pointed it out to me) as annoyed. (Did I say I was outraged? Must reread my letter.) I DO get outraged at "retard".