Psychologists don't dole out antidepressants. Sure, they may want to, but they are not allowed to prescribe medication.

Before children and before he seriously injures or even kills you, end the relationship. I would also look into changing your work arrangement. What will happen when you start dating someone else and he figures it out since he is still around you every day? You and your new beau would be in serious danger. You need to take more precautions than simply divorcing him. Get him completely out of your life. Men like him never change. They resist treatment and lack basic capacity for empathy for other human beings. He is damaged goods and his parents, who were in the same building with you when all of this abuse was going on, probably damaged him as a child. When children are emotionally and physically abused over a long period of time, their brain chemistry is altered irreparably. This is what creates most sociopathic abusers like your crybaby sadist husband. So not only is he your enemy, but so are your in-laws. The whole bunch would be the enemies of any children you eventually had, as well. He does not 'love' you like he states, since he has no capacity for love. You are simply a prop in his narcissistic universe.

Run. Away. Now.

I have to say that your column does not quite give the right advice. First, they should change their guardianship together, but there is no need to tell anyone. After all, in the highly unlikely event that they die simultaneously, BIL and SIL will find out then. No need to get the issue of abuse jumbled up with their personal interest in his/their parenting skills. Second, he needs to intervene in this abusive family NOW. That child is probably acting out in large part because of his abusive father. He needs to talk to SIL without her abusive husband present. After all, BIL is an abuser. He will take this out on the children or even the wife if he is subjected to such a conversation. Think of this from the perspective of the two boys. How sad to grow up with a physically and emotionally abusive father and be surrounded by horrified relatives who do nothing to help you. :(

I can't imagine living in a big suburban house without kids yet. These houses and towns are really made for families with kids, and without kids one feels isolated and trapped. I think this couple made their move too soon. On the other hand, there is no greater claustrophobia than a tiny apartment with children. We live the suburban life with our kids, but we also keep a tiny apartment in Manhattan, for work reasons. Someday, when our kids are grown, we will keep a tiny place in the suburbs and a more comfortable pad in the city.

Timing is everything.

I am a mom of 3 including an adorable baby. I will never understand the need to post about bodily functions or other embarrassing details. My friends and I have a joke about people who think they have the First Baby Ever and that the World is endlessly fascinated with every messy detail of said FBE's life. Yeah, they need to STFU.