I keep wondering whether some of the people here read the same letter I did.

The letter writer says she doesn't want the roommate messing with her cats BECAUSE SHE IS AFRAID THEY ARE SLOWING ACCUMULATING BRAIN DAMAGE. She compares the process to soccer playing.

That's insane, folks. It is. It's just insane. The cats are not being slowly brain damaged by being bounced. They just aren't. It doesn't work that way. No cat has ever gotten brain damage by being held and bounced like a baby. The letter writer is insane - meaning that she's lost connection to reality and her reasoning is faulty - and she needs some kind people to gently reassure her that no, her cats are not going to DIE because her roommate bounces them. The cats absolutely will not die and she can stop worrying about that.

This isn't a letter about whether or not it's okay to ask a roommate to stop being mean to the cats. THIS letter is about a roommate who is perfectly nice to the cats in a way that sets the letter writer's teeth on edge because the letter writer is insane.

Given that there is no reason to worry about cumulative brain damage, what are the rights of an insane person to expect others to cater to her insanity? Well, some feel that it's her cat. I can see that; many mothers are insane, and if an insane mother says, "My child is not allowed on the playground because he's fragile," people respect that. When it comes to their own children, mothers must be respected even if they are insane. Those who hold that the letter writer has final authority over her pets seem to think pets are like children in this respect. On the other hand, I think most people here would agree that a woman with OCD doesn't have the right to dictate that everything in the shared environment must follow the rules of her personal, insane universe. For example, she has no authority to dictate that the roommate flip the light switch on and off exactly five times each time she enters a room, or that the coffee pot must always face due north. If it makes her flip out when bananas aren't refrigerated, the roommate nevertheless has the right to eat bananas however she prefers them.

So, is a cat a child, or a banana?

I'm going to argue: neither one. A cat is its own creature. Overwhelmingly cats are capable of letting people know when they don't like how they are being treated. These particular cats repeatedly come to the roommate for affection; it's clear she is not mistreating them, and they like her. Let the cats choose. The cats' opinion trumps the letter writer's, whether or not they are "her cats." In fact, if the letter writer suddenly decided that the cats would get sick if she didn't shave their whiskers, any sane opinion would still trump hers.

Apparently a lot of post-op trannies do regret the operation, for many reasons, including one I wouldn't have guessed: for some of them, the sexual fantasy is about BECOMING a woman, and once they've done it, there's nothing to fantasize about. In addition, men have more testosterone than women, and it's testosterone that's largely responsible for the sex drive; cut off those balls and suddenly a lot of the obsession with sex fades. Lastly, mutilated genitals aren't very sensitive. There's no way for science to turn a man into a woman; all science can do is mutilate a penis to make it look more like a vulva, it can't create an actual vulva. In the process, a lot of nerves are severed, and nerves take a long long time to regrow.

Visit some post op support pages, it's a grim world. "Have faith, someday you may have an orgasm again if you keep at it," wouldn't inspire me to have surgery if I were a trannie.

On the other hand, I think it's ridiculous to feel threatened at the idea that someone may be born into the wrong body. Considering that many of Broadsheet's female posters test as men on a "brain sex" test, it seems obvious to me that the body isn't always a correct indicator of what a person's mind is like. It's also obvious to me that many trannies are very unhappy as they are and willing to suffer to become something different; who am I to judge them for that?

It seems to me that in a world which was truly free of gender preconceptions, transsexuals might feel more comfortable remaining in their birth gender.

It also seems to me that when people say most post-op trannies don't express dissatisfaction, you have to factor in a huge whopping dose of cognitive dissonance. How many folks out there are going to admit to themselves, much less anyone else, "Hey, I had my genitals surgically removed, boy was I stupid!" It's not like these post op people can regrow their penises; they are trying very hard to make the best of an imperfect solution.

(Disclosure: the only trannie I know well was a man, had the surgery, then decided to live as a man again. He's not the most stable person in other ways, either.)

Here's to a future in which it will be much easier for trans people to be happy, whether that means much improved surgery, or a society which is more open to manly women and girly men, or both.

Oh- about the rape counselor - if I were raped, I'd feel more comfortable with a male counselor who had been raped himself than with a female counselor who couldn't imagine how anyone could end up being raped without it in some way being her fault. Sometimes sex isn't the most important thing about a person.