Letters to the Editor
Allie_
Published Letters: 1409 Editor's Choice: 113
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New converts to anything are often zealots
[Read the article: My sister has become a monster cop!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Whether it's Amway, the church, or being a cop, a new convert to anything often becomes a zealot for a time. Your sister may mellow after a while, as she learns to balance being a cop with being the rest of the things she used to be, or she may not.
Your question, it seems to me, is representative of a larger question: What do we do when our loved ones become horrible people? What are we supposed to feel?
My own mother, who used to be a very kindly person, as she grows older and more established in the world, becomes more and more of a... well, I can't think of a polite way to say "Conservative Dickwad." The other day we had an argument about the police. The details of the argument are irrelevant to this discussion; what's relevant is that my mother said, "Well, the cops will only bother the people who need to be bothered, those criminal types. People like me and my friends will never encounter the situation, so it doesn't concern us."
Needless to say I expressed an opposing viewpoint, but it turns out she's serious. My mom, who raised me to be liberal, skeptical of those in power, and open-hearted to all different kinds of people, now believes that the cops would only stop and search criminals. What am I supposed to do with that?
My husband's got the same sort of situation with his mother. She remarried recently, to a man who belongs to a strict branch of the Baptist faith; now all of a sudden she no longer believes in evolution, thinks gay people are damned, and attends a church which doesn't allow women to attend business meetings. What the hell?
What are you supposed to do when someone you love betrays everything she used to stand for? How should I know? I can tell you what I am doing, but I can't say it's giving me any sense of accomplishment or relief. I'm trying to appreciate that my mother has her own view of the world, based on shoes I don't happen to be standing in. I'm reminding myself that although I try to deny it, no doubt much of the time I myself am an ignorant dickweed in various ways on various subjects, and other people somehow manage to put up with me. I'm avoiding certain subjects, while at the same time refusing to say anything I don't believe for the sake of keeping the peace. I'm loving the people I always loved, without sharing their opinions.
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in our house, it's the opposite
[Read the article: Women to blame for global warming?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]...But not for aesthetic reasons. Florescent light gives my husband migraines. He can see the "flicker" of an energy-saving bulb. That they are hideously ugly and make a house unlivable is beside the point.
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Re: At her majesty's pleasure
[Read the article: At her majesty's pleasure]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Points in order:
1) This guy was a jerk, no argument.
2) Five weeks imprisonment for being a jerk on a plane strikes me as slightly excessive, but that's what happens to people who can't make bail, even in the US.
3) Rape is not part of the legal system. Even serial killers are not actually sentenced to be raped. If you take a person's ability to defend himself away, you are then responsible for defending him. There is no question of "deserving it" - if we truly believe that criminals deserve to be raped in prison, we should stand up and admit it, write it into the laws. In Rome, a woman who was a poisoner was sentenced to be raped by a specially-trained giraffe. The Romans at least were honest about it.
4) Rape is systematic in prisons because the people who run prisons want it to continue. If the prisoners are attacking each other, they are not attacking the guards. At the present time, there is no reason for the prison system to attempt to reduce the number of rapes. We can change this, if we want to.
4) This is me at my least compassionate - be warned. Having been a victim of crime myself, I am of the opinion that victims have a moral obligation to deal with what has happened to them legally, for the sake of others who may become victims of the same crime. No, it's not fair, but that's the way it is. It's my opinion that the most jerk-like thing this man did was fail to report his rape to any authority. At this point, what evidence do we have, besides his rant, that he was actually raped? It's all well and good to be outraged when it's too late for anyone to corroborate what you're saying. I'd be a lot more impressed if he were suing the British prison system, or if he'd gone to the screws with DNA evidence and a demand to be put in protective custody.
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Ft. Benning
[Read the article: The spring blues]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Long about '87 or '88 my baby was in Ft. Benning. Glad he's not there now. He joined because he thought it would be fun to be an airborne ranger.
These kids are so young, and so dumb.
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agree with dfield and blackpaw
[Read the article: My husband read my journal]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]LW has the right to decide how important things are to her. There are women who stay with men who beat them, and women who stay with men who cheat on them. She's entitled to pardon her husband for reading her journal. But whether or not she pardons him, it remains a big deal, not something that should be taken for granted as an example of normal behavior.
Lock up everything? Geez, what a sad and painful way to live. What ever happened to trust and honor? This husband owes his wife an apology and a concentrated effort to recover her trust. I can't figure out which is icking me out more, the advice to password protect things from the people you trust enough to share your life with, or the advice on ways this woman can apologize to her husband, as if she were the culprit.