Letters to the Editor
Allie_
Published Letters: 1389 Editor's Choice: 112
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re: teen boys and sex
[Read the article: Chatty Cathy, Taciturn Ted?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]This is biological - it's a fact that teenage boys are the most unfortunate looking creatures on earth and older men are hot, just as it's a fact that teenage girls are hot and women past menopause aren't sexually appealing to most men. A little thought will tell you that this isn't maliciousness on anyone's part, it's evolutionary: in a natural state, men prove themselves before mating, so that only the best men mate, and women mate young and prove their fitness as parents by living through childbirth and keeping their progeny alive.
However, we're a long way from a natural state. Women past the age of fertility now want to marry. Teenage boys can now get laid without getting anyone pregnant. It would be nice, therefore, if someone wanted to screw these people. But I wouldn't bet on the situation changing any time soon - sexual desire is more instinctive than logically controlled. Give it a few thousand years.
(P.S. I confirm that Rhedd is in fact my husband. Can you tell we have cicadas outside at the moment?)
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yet somehow, most men turn out pretty decent
[Read the article: Chatty Cathy, Taciturn Ted?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]So that can't be used as an excuse.
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re: brightstar
[Read the article: Chatty Cathy, Taciturn Ted?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If men and women have equal say in our society, then why is it a turdbucket of man-hating scribble like "Are Men Necessary?" by Maureen Dowd has 58,400 hits on Google and a virtual masterpiece of anti-feminist writing like "Rantings of a Single Male" by Thomas Ellis has 81 hits on Google?!?
Are you saying that women in some way control the ability of men to click where they want to click? That's pretty nifty! I will try it now: magic vagina, please make Brightstar click on a link to a feminist diatribe!
Did it work?
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what it all boils down to
[Read the article: Chatty Cathy, Taciturn Ted?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]This is the greatest put down of men of all. Women treating men like DOGS or vermin rather than being fair to men, respecting their opinions, or accomodating men's needs. "So sorry that you have this issue with liking lots of sex, guys, but we women will use it against you anyway. baahahahahahahaaaa a a a !!!!"
I suspected this was what it all boiled down to, but it's unusual to see someone who will come right out and say it. So - let's make this perfectly clear - you think women should have sex with you, and if they don't want to, it's not fair.
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re: Anonymous
[Read the article: Chatty Cathy, Taciturn Ted?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Okay, let me get this straight.
You think that if a woman goes to a guy and mentions that the plumbing is broken, and he says, "No problem, I'll fix it, don't hire someone," but then he doesn't fix it...
She should fix it herself, and it's her damn fault in some way.
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I call bullshit
[Read the article: Chatty Cathy, Taciturn Ted?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]That is exactly what he said, no twisting allowed.
This is what it must be like living with Dick Cheney - "I'm going to accuse you preemptively of whatever tactic I plan to use myself."
Sorry, not gonna buy it. That's the classic sociopathic tactic - appeal to my conscience, knowing that a person with a conscience feels bad when accused of wrongdoing even when innocent.
I'd say, "Shame on you," back, but it's clear you have no shame.
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you were responding to deering
[Read the article: Chatty Cathy, Taciturn Ted?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]And deering's example was a man who considers himself an expert and has volunteered to do it.
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back to the subject
[Read the article: Chatty Cathy, Taciturn Ted?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]All right, how exactly do you feel that "accommodating men's needs" should be interpreted?
I love the way that when anyone pushes you into a corner with logic and reasoning, you change the subject.
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and
[Read the article: Chatty Cathy, Taciturn Ted?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]In every example given, the man made a promise to do something.
How can his giving a promise and failing to keep it be blamed on the person to whom he made the promise? Couldn't he - here's a thought - have communicated, instead of making and then breaking a promise? Said, "I don't know how to fix a sink, you do it? I don't have time, do it yourself?" or even "I'm too lazy to fix the sink, and besides you're the one who uses it so it doesn't inconvenience me, so fix it yourself?"
Or is communication only required from women?
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right
[Read the article: Chatty Cathy, Taciturn Ted?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If the man is making promises to you and not acting on them, maybe you should have a real discussion with him about why that might be. Maybe it's football. Maybe he's being inconsiderate. Maybe he is distracted. Maybe he needs a part. Maybe he doesn't know where to start. Maybe he felt pressured into saying yes. Maybe he has tasks that he is doing that he feels take priority. Maybe he is tired. Maybe you've been nagging. Maybe he is worried about starting because he doesn't know if he can do it right. Or he would like some help starting or cleaning up. Or he is worried about in what way you are going to badmouth his accomplishments at the end. (YOU MADE A BIG MESS!) I don't know.
So it IS the woman's sole responsibility to initiate communication. If she doesn't have a conversation with him about why he's not keeping promises, it's her fault. But it's never his fault that he made a promise and he's not keeping it, and it's never his responsibility to tell his wife that he's watching a game, he's distracted, needs a part (can this hypothetical man drive to the DIY store?), doesn't know where to start, is doing something else, is tired, etc.
In all these cases, it's the responsibility of the woman to figure out what the problem is and the man has no responsibility either to keep the promise or the first place or to tell his wife on his own without prompting why he didn't.